Monday, March 23, 2009

Gay Today in Hollywood

Last week on Thursday I headed over to the WGA for the Gay Today in Hollywood event. I had fun at the event but was a little disappointed as the title suggested that every person who was gay and in Hollywood on that particular day would be there, apparently this was not the case.

Here I thought I was going to an event where I would be stuffed in a room with thousands of other gay people, packed in like a bunch of sardines...What better way to get to know your neighbors than a little "accidental" grab ass. Instead what I got was a room full of gorgeous LGBT writers, directors, producers, probably a bunch of actors, and one agent...Well only one agent who was willing to out himself.

In all actuality I thoroughly enjoyed this event and found the panel discussion very informative and helpful in my, hopeful, future working in the entertainment industry. The panelist included the following:

Honey Labrador and Christopher Racster (Last Bastion Ent), Arthur Allen Seidelman (tv& film director), Sandy Weinberg (Agent), Howard Bragman (15 minutes PR), Liz Feldman (Emmy winning writer - Ellen), Kevin Goetz (Motion Picture Group OTX Research) and Dustin Lance Black (Oscar Winning Writer - Milk) The moderator for the event was a friend of mine JD Disalvatore. Click on the following links to read "real" press reviews of the event.

Knowing who was going to be a panelist at this event I decided that it was time I ended my involvement in another very important event. This March a few co-workers and myself decided to take part in "March Mustache Madness," an event in which participants are not allowed to shave their upper lip for the entire month. I made it two weeks before only having a mustache started driving me crazy, prompting me to grow out a goatee as well. All in all I made it 19 days and have discovered that while my hair itself is light brown, my facial hair is strawberry blond!!!

So anyway, since Lance Black was going to be there, I knew I HAD to shave it all off. I mean I simply couldn't go out supporting my future husband looking like Mickey McFinnigan, Peter Griffin's Drunken Irish Dad!!!

I was supposed to be joined in the event by my friend Michael; however, once again Michael was working on a film before the event started and once again, they ended up shooting longer than originally thought.

When I arrived the guy at the reception table checked me in saying, "You have a plus one?" As if he didn't believe me...Thanks, another reminder that I am eternally single.

I informed the guy that, " plus one is a looser, asshole, sun a bitch, cocksucking, homo, with anal leakage."

To which he responded saying, "Hmm...that name might be a little difficult to remember. Let him know that if he would like to arrive later, he should probably check in using your name, instead of his own. Also he might want to stay away from chips that contain Olestra."

Michael never did show up; however, his ex roommate did make an appearance giving me someone to sit next to. Pretty soon the event was about to start and they opened the room for audience members to take their seats. Before the event started two more friends of mine, John and Jane, showed up and took seats near mine. Also sitting near me was the fabulous Thea Gill (Queer as Folk, Dante's Cove, Mulligan's), and I believe I caught a glimpse of No H8 Campaign Photographer, Adam Bouska. Adam also is the genius behind my head shots, I'm normally not so ridiculously good looking.

Again the event was great, and quite informative. In a touching turn of events during the evenings last question/comment, an audience member came out as a Heterosexual. Someone later told me that they thought that it was a ploy for attention, but he was probably just jealous he didn't think of it first. I personally believe Heterosexuality is a sick choice, and a severe terrorist threat. I do have to admire this individual for having the balls to stand up and speak out in a room full of people who would prefer to amend the Constitution to discriminate against his kind for fear that allowing them to marry would taint the sanctity of our marriages as well as our currently impeccable education system. Don't get me wrong, I have friends that are heterosexual; I mean my parents and sister are all heterosexual so....yeah.

When the panel discussion was over, guests were invited to mingle in the reception room over dessert and Diet Coke. This would have been the perfect opportunity to introduce myself to my future husband and the father of my children; however, like multiple other people in the world, I have trouble approaching people I am attracted to. Apparently now that I am out in Hollywood, I get to add to that intimidation the fact that he is an Oscar winner and I am a "Nobody" drowning in a sea of "Somebody's." So instead of acting like a normal, "Sane" person introducing myself to my soon to be neighbor/lover and achieving even the shortest of conversations I settled for slithering my way through the sardine can and achieving the slightest, not even noticeable "accidental" grab ass.


Josh said...

I must say that your sarcastic wit exploded BETTER than the A-bomb all over this blog. Well done! I so wish I could've been there. And kudos to the "chips that contain Olestra" remark.

Michael Coulombe said...

I do have to say that I don't appreciate you using my FULL name in your blog...but I do understand that you were a bit tiffed at me since, again, filming always comes before our friendship. You reminded me of my mother who always used to use my full name when she was yelling at me. So, yeah, I find it a bit disturbing that you're like my mother. I supppose I should make a "your mom" joke here but I shall refrain.

I am, however, excited to hear that there was a heterosexual among the group. They're so rare, like unicorns. Did you get his autograph?

Oh, by the way, when you grab your own ass it isn't "accidental."