Hollywood Nobody

Sometimes you just need to go home

2011-01-11T09:19:00.001-08:00

Life in California can be crazy and hectic. Sometimes it seems that no matter how hard you work towards your goals, you don't seem to make any gains. When this happens it can be very difficult to remain positive. These are the moments when it may be best to just get away, separating yourself from that hustle and bustle to rejuvenate your mind and body. Sometimes, you just need to go home.

To say that this last three month period at my job was a little busy, would be an understatement. Please understand, I am not complaining, my pocket book really enjoyed the extra hours; however, it didn't leave a lot of time for other activities, hobbies, auditions or further development for my blog.

Being so new to my professional career as a Sign Language Interpreter finding additional jobs anywhere let alone in an area I would love to live, is a difficult thing. Granted I could continue to work in Orange County, but commute from the LA area; however, lack of money and a fear of failure and the unknown are very daunting obstacles to overcome.

Up until recently I have felt like my life was remaining pretty stagnant. Sure, I had just begun Interpreting and was doing well at it; however after being denied a promotion/raise, I felt I wasn’t doing as well I should have been doing.

All the time and energy I was using thinking about work was time away from other writing and acting projects. It has honestly been a long time since I have been on a film set, that fact is pretty worrisome. Also frustrating was starting new writing projects with Caleb and Michael and not being able to finish them because their schedule suddenly gets busy. I’m not saying my frustration is with them or that they are somehow responsible for the state of my acting career. I guess my frustration stems from my conflicted feelings in that I am so happy and proud of them for getting amazing work, yet at the same time I can’t help but feel a little jealous.

All of these feelings and stress have caused me to wonder if I needed to give up on one career in order to succeed in another. I also was feeling like my “love relationship” with life in California was turning somewhat sour, and I began looking into Interpreting work in multiple different states.

These reasons and more are the reason I decided to spend over a month staying in Tucson Arizona with my Mother and her friend. So far being away from California and the Hollywood machine seems to have been really good for me in gaining a different perspective.

Just because I didn’t get my promotion last year doesn’t mean I can’t get one this year, and certainly doesn’t mean that I am not doing the things I need to be doing in order to qualify for a promotion. Just because I have had an extended absence from a film set, doesn’t mean I will never be on one again. Just because my friends are busy, doesn’t mean I can write a script or outline myself, and it definitely doesn’t mean that a script will never be finished.

If anything these things that may have seemed like insurmountable obstacles were things that have been benefiting me. In fact concentrating more on my interpreting career and further developing those skills now will, in the long run, benefit my acting career in multiple ways. Better skills equals more pay, more pay equals more saving, more savings equals decreased financial worries, which MAY equal more time to concentrate on acting and writing. This may seem a little far fetched; however, this thought process has been the refreshing change of perspective, or should I say reminder, that I have been looking for.

If life is throwing obstacles in your path, sometimes you need to take one step back in order to take multiple forward. While my stay in Arizona is not over yet, I will be flying home next week, I do feel like my step back has rejuvenated my mind and body preparing me to jump right back into life in California and everything it has to throw at me. Absence can make the heart grow fonder.

I'm Too Cheap for HBO

2010-10-30T12:37:00.000-07:00

Recently someone told me that my blog, Hollywood Nobody, slightly resembles a popular television show on HBO called Entourage. I do not subscribe to HBO, nor have I ever seen an episode of Entourage on Netflix, so I have no clue whether or not it is true that,

"Hollywood Nobody is Entourage before they made it big..."

This Comparison got me thinking about Entourages and the importance they play, not only in LA, but all over the world. It also caused me to realize, I have never officially introduced you all to my entourage!

An Entourage is a group of friends or co-workers one surrounds themselves with for support. An Entourage can consist a few people or hundreds. The general LA/Hollywood area can be a brutal wake up call for many people, so it makes sense that an entourage be an important part of our daily lives. Entourages are your support group when things get tuff; entourages are your family when your blood relatives live far away; and entourages are your creative partners/outlets when you have an idea for the next big thing!

My Hollywood Entourage consists of two major players, Michael Coulombe and Caleb Monteforte*, with a few guest characters thrown in for flavor.

Michael Coulombe is a Writer, Script Supervisor (Scripty), and Producer living in the Burbank area. I met Michael around two years ago on the set of Nick Wauters short film, Neurotica. Michael was working as a Scripty and I was cast as the incredibly energetic "Tweaker Boy." At first Michael thought I was an uber bitch with a heart made of ice, but for some reason he changed his mind...Funny how accurate first impressions are.

Michael is currently sitting beside me trying to make sure I add that he introduced me to John Stallings, "See I know famous gay celebutants!!!" Michael recently finished producing his second annual Big Bear Horror Film Festival, and just booked Scripty work on the feature film, Sinbad: The Fifth Voyage with star, Patrick Stewart. It's cool enough he's working with Patrick Stewart, but when he told me it was a SINBAD film, I started jumping up and down like a little school girl.

Caleb Monteforte is a Writer, Director, Producer, and Talent Manager living near Glendale, CA. I met Caleb around three or four years ago while waiting tables in Orange County, CA. One night after a long hard night of waiting tables, Caleb invited me out to drinks. At first I was hesitant because I wasn't sure why this straight guy was asking me to join him for drinks. Also, at that time I didn't feel like I was able to connect with the people I worked with outside of the restaurant. I initially declined his invitations to hang out; however, one night I finally did accept; Caleb and I have been friends ever since. After coming out, I never thought I would have a straight BFF; I'm sure Caleb never thought he would have a gay on either. Many people don't really understand our friendship, but that's their deal.

Caleb's sister, Vanessa Monteforte*, was a child actress on a very popular television show in the 90's, and as a result Caleb grew up in the business and has a keen understanding of the multiple intricacies involved in show biz. Caleb could take advantage of the name that Vanessa has to make more connections and get work; however, he wants to make a name for himself, and succeed on his own merit, not on the fame his sister has already achieved.

Caleb is currently wrapping a short film he produced and is preparing to produce a feature. In addition to these two projects, Caleb keeps himself busy by writing his own screen plays and managing a band with a well known front man.

Entourages serve a very important function in our daily lives, not only here in LA, but all over the world. Entourages can come in all shapes and sizes. For the time being, I prefer mine to be a smaller group of close friends supporting each other as we try garner happiness and success in LA LA LAND. Are we HBO's Entourage before they "made it?" I have no clue, I'm too cheap for HBO.

*Names have been changed to protect the guilty! ;-)

Appearances: Puttin on the Ritz

2010-10-24T13:57:00.000-07:00

From the moment Michael and I entered the Starbucks off Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood, I could feel their eyes descend upon us, like a sparkly teen vampire seeing his first jugular. Immediately Michael's eyes scanned the room looking for a familiar face to take comfort in...He found three within seconds; I was not so lucky.

We had entered their territory and it was obvious we did not belong. Correction, it was obvious, I did not belong. Michael fit in much more easily amongst the gorgeous self involved natives as he recently started a diet where he avoided all foods.

After ordering my iced coffee beverage, I sat a long wooden table and set my MacBook Pro to begin work on a new entry for my blog. I was thinking that by coming to LA I would be able to break through my writers block that has been plaguing me for months. Twenty minutes later, no such luck. Michael was no help as he was still gossiping like a New York socialite on the Upper East Side with his trendy gay Hollywood friends in their trendy gay clothes, with their trendy gay cell phones, sun glasses, lap tops, and frappuccinos.

Looking around the room I started to notice all the young Gays working on their own blogs and film/tv scripts. It wasn't just Michael's friends, it was everyone in the room...it was me!! There I sat in my semi trendy clothes that took me an hour to pick out with my semi trendy cell phone and my uber trendy computer when I realized just how reliant we all are on appearances. Honestly, I know this all before, but somehow saying that doesn't make for as entertaining of a blog, so for the time being, lets pretend I was completely oblivious to this well known fact.

Looking back at the last month, I saw that the Gays at Starbucks weren't the only ones guilty of "Putting on the Ritz" Around a year ago my Mother came to visit my Landlord/Uncle his on again off again girlfriend and myself and the entire time I felt like my Uncle and his girlfriend were putting on a show for her and I unfortunately was the unwilling re-occuring guest star.

My Landlord/Uncle and his Girlfriend had been going through a very rough patch in their relationship and needless to say they were very off again; that is, until my Mother showed up. The moment guests arrived the lights were dimmed the curtain lifted. It was as if the last few months of their relationship had never happened.

People move out to California for so many reasons whether it be for college, grad school or a business opportunity, it seems like we all have one thing in common...We act. Some of us are paid for our performances and achieve a level of success, whereas most of our talents for the dramatic arts are never seen or acknowledged. Each of our characters certainly have different motivations for acting; some of us act because it's a passion, some of us act because we want people to think a certain things about us, and some of us act to mask the pain that hides just below the surface.

So...

"If you're blue and you don't know

where to go to why don't you go

where fashion sits

Puttin' on the Ritz."

-TACO 1982

Heidei Booby

2010-08-07T23:51:00.000-07:00

Elisabeth Hasselbeck

2010-08-01T12:19:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, Elisabeth Hasselbeck has never really been too bright, but she is saying some incredibly stupid things on The View recently. I would like to take the opportunity, though, to thank her for doing so, as this marks a monumental day in the history of Hollywood Nobody...Our first Hollywood Nobody Video!!

The follow clip was taken at dinner one night while I was explaining the situation to a few friends, they decided to take a video.

Head Shots and Long Shots: My Journey Thus Far

2010-06-25T13:26:00.001-07:00

It was around three or four years ago this August that I decided acting was something I wanted to pursue again. Before this decision it had simply been something I dreamed, but never thought of as a real possibility.

The realization that it might be slightly easier for me to pursue acting now that I live in California hit me one day while waiting tables in Orange County. A co-worker approached me and asked if I had heard that Wicked was having an open casting at the UMC in Hollywood and if I was going. I hadn't heard that and was actually surprised that this girl would ask me if I was going. Apparently when I sing at work, I am not that quite...who knew :-)

When I got home that night I decided that I would go ahead and audition. I checked out the casting website and realized that I needed to get sheet music, head shots, and a pianist to help me prepare all within three days!! I quickly started contacting people who might be able to help or knew someone that might be able to help. That same night I had everything set up that I needed, and within three days I had sheet music, head shots, and pianist to help me practice. It was serendipitous how everything just fell into place.

Naturally I was aiming for something small first, a place on the chorus would be amazing!! Of course if the offered me the part of Fiyero's understudy, I wouldn't have turned it down. Alas after all that hard work and hurried preparation, I was not even allowed the opportunity to audition. The casting directors didn't realize so many NON-Union and Union people would show up to an open casting for one of the most popular musicals of the time, and decided to dismiss all NON-Union actors, crushing many a dream...though not as many as American Idol...That's a completely different story.

Upon arriving home empty handed I thought to myself that all that preparation came together so easily that it was surely a sign from above that this is a dream I should still consider chasing. That is when I remembered shortly before I moved to California, when my mind was focused on Public Relations/Event Planning, someone had messaged me on Myspace (if you forgot myspace was the hottest thing 4 years ago.) about a casting website that had listings all over the USA. So I went to Backstage.com and signed up, not realizing there were other sites, some free, that I could have used. Since then I have been on multiple auditions and been cast in three films, one of which has aired on the LOGO Network for the all those LGBTQIA (ei-ei-o) Along the way I have met some AMAZING people, you all know who you are.

This business we call show, is not for those who give up easily. There are always people telling you, that you can't do something or that you aren't good enough. Maybe there is a little bit of truth to what they are saying; maybe it's mostly jealously or insecurity about themselves. We all experience high points and low points while following our dreams, we just have to try to stay grounded during the high points and a float during the low points.

Most recently I have tried another open casting call, or as some people call them a cattle call, which is conceptually accurate. The send out a call to all the cows (actors) herding them into one venue so they can sit there and decide which cows they can milk, and which cows are better off sent to the grinder. Like most casting calls, the odds are stacked against you because there are so many people pouncing on the same role and only one will win. I felt though that this casting call was way to good to pass by and so I dusted off my rusty old myspace account and entered the GLEE Casting call hoping to win a role on season two. All contestants are still waiting to hear if they will be chosen for a callback, which should occur sometime this July. Click to view my casting video.

In other recent developments, I have begun searching for day jobs in the LA area to be able to afford the increase in cost of living that comes with such a move. I haven't heard much yet, but remain hopeful that something will pan out shortly.

In retrospect I have made huge accomplishments while chasing my dreams and have, for the most part, been able to remain grounded and afloat. I blame/credit all the wonderful people I have met on my journey thus far. Looking to the future I hope that we continue to be apart of each other's lives as we walk along on this crazy journey!

XOXO,

Hollywood Nobody

Hollywood Nobody at Pre-Outfest Parties

2010-06-17T18:46:00.000-07:00

Last night Michael and I made the long trek from Orange County to West Hollywood to once again attend the Smoking Cocktail LGBT Entertainment Media Mixer. This particular night they were celebrating the films involved in OUTFEST 2010. Turns out Michael worked on three films that are playing in this years festival! Naturally as he caught up with each person he worked with the number of films increased. From three to four and from four to ten! Michael is sooooo important!
The evening was fun as always, and I met a lot of great people who are working the business as well as caught up with some old friends of mine. Turns out I know a few people involved in this years OUTFEST, which means I will likely have a ton of new LGBT films for review this summer including: A Marine Story, We Have to Stop Now, Violet Tendencies, FIT, Rubdown, Role/Play, BearCity, Elena Undone (not only did my crotch shot stay in the film, it made the trailer!!), and The Four Faced Liar. If you click the link you should be able to view each films trailer; unfortunately I was not able to find trailers for each. Information on OUTFEST and where you can buy tickets, click here.

These past two weeks while I have had time off from my day job (which, per Michael's advise, I have not quit...JERK!!) Michael and I have gotten together to complete writing on our first Screen Play, Elementals. We hope to have our most recent version completed within the next month or two so we can host a reading and FINALLY get the ball rolling on this film! Hard to believe that this has been three years in the making!

This afternoon I went on a photo shoot to Long Beach with a friend from work for some new head shots. My previous ones, while still fabulous, were getting pretty old (three years) so needless to say it was time for an update. Will post hopefully within one week!

In other exciting news, after last nights mixer I received a face-book comment from a High School friend of mine that she had a room for rent causing me to renew my efforts in finding work in LA so I can move my gay ass out of Orange County to the land where I belong...The La La Land...well WeHo/Studio City area to be exact! Look out boys and girls, this nobody is on their way!!!

Elena Undone

2010-01-06T22:50:00.000-08:00

"Elena (Necar Zadegan, 24) is married to a pastor at a conservative church, and when they find out they can't have more children, she goes to an adoption center where she meets Peyton (Traci Dinwiddie, Supernatural) - an out lesbian. An unlikely friendship develops which leads to more...."

Last night I made the long, long trek to La Crescenta with my buddy Lisa to be a background actor on a film that a bunch of my friends are working on, called Elena Undone. Written and Directed by Nicole Conn; produced by Marina Bader, Jane Clark, and JD Disalvatore.

The concept of the film is great and from the dialogue I heard, it is beautifully written. The leads are gorgeous and very friendly. This is definitely going to be a MUST SEE FILM, and not just because you may catch a glimpse of me.

The film shoot was a lot of fun, and I loved having Lisa with me as this was her first experience on a film set, and my first experience working in a Lesbian Film...I hope I was butch enough. Michael Coulombe, script supervisor on the film, was also happy to have Lisa there as it made him seem more important than he actually is while he gave her a backstage tour of what was going on in a scene. I bet you thought I was finally going to have an entry that didn't include that silly "mo", Michael, no such luck. I swear that bitch is stalking me!!

upon arriving on set I naturally had to make sure that the execs and leads noticed me by wearing a white shirt under my navy blue v-neck sweater, sending me straight to wardrobe for a new shirt. Honestly though, I thought the white shirt might have been OK since it was partly covered... Live and learn I guess.

After I got back from wardrobe, I was able to say hello to my friends working on the film. That is when the drama started. JD and Michael were about three seconds away from mud wrestling each other in speedos to determine whose friend I actually was. Thankfully when it got to the arm wrestling match JD won as Michael submitted by sticking his gay little ass in the air. I'm not sure he fully understood the concept of arm wrestling...

As is normally the case on film sets, we were requested to show up at a certain time (Call time); however, that does not mean you will be needed or working immediately at that time. Luckily for me and the rest of the background actors they set us up in a VIP cabana next to the Craft services table so that we could snack on animal crackers and red vines while we waited. The only thing our VIP cabana was missing was a bottle of MOET and nearly naked sexy cabana boys and girls. It did include a lovely Verizon Wireless dead zone, so I was unable to keep my tens of readers/followers fully update on the tweet box. Stupid Verizon and their stupid maps! What's a gay to do??? Jeesh!

Finally it was time for a few of the background peeps to go to set and do their thing. The set was absolutely beautiful, with a nicely decorated hors d'oeuvre table, Christmas lights, and fabric hanging from various locations. The draped fabric kind of reminded me of a scene in the "Total Eclipse" music video.

When the background actors were set into place for the first shot, I was excited as Lisa and I were placed in some prime locations; right behind the lead actors. My excitement; however, was shortly lived as after the first take, Lisa and I were moved; not once, but twice. I didn't think it was really a big deal at the moment; however, later Michael told me that I was moved because, "The only part of you we could see in the shot was your massive buldge right over the leads sholder. It was really distracting." I guess we now know why he keeps following me around! We later referred to my crotch bulge as another extra.

Speaking of the extras/background actors, we had a really good group on the film. Everyone seemed to be getting along well and having great conversations in our down time or our pantomime during scenes; the latter being more difficult as it involved reading lips. At one point I could have sworn that Lisa told me she tasted like Halibut after I asked if she liked pineapple juice... That was something I really didn't need to know.

The last shot that the background actors were needed for was basically for background party noise so we were able to actually speak during this time. The main conversation I seemed to have at this time was about my new invention, the SNOOGIE. You see the snoogie is similar to a snuggie, but for two people at the same time. You can basically think of it as a sex poncho. Unfortunately, I doubt that conversation will be used in the film, but you never know.

After that our night came to an end and Lisa and I began the long drive back to Anaheim, which brings up a very good question. When the fuck am I moving to LA???? Hopefully soon, my darlings.

This morning I woke up to hundreds of emails that I should check out Perez's website. Normally I try to stay clear of it, because I don't think his "doodle drawings" are all that funny, but, "What the heck," I thought.

DAMN YOU PEREZ!!!!!!

Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!

2009-12-19T08:48:00.000-08:00

CHEERS!!!

Wow, my last update was six months ago?!? It's seem like just yesterday, that I was sitting at the computer writing to you about all my adventures in LaLa Land. Well let's see, what has happened in the last six months??

In July I was called for a "pick up day" on Chronicles of a Lonely Mind. The Director, Christopher Fishel, wanted to film a scene that we did not get to earlier during production. This was actually my big scene in the film, so I was very excited to drive out to shoot.

That same day I convinced my friend Michael to come out with me for my 26th birthday. Pretty sad that I actually had to convince people to go out with me on my birthday, but with that damn economy and all... After the shoot I headed out to Van Nuys to pick up Michael and check into our Hotel in West Hollywood.

I am not sure who this girl is, but she let me violate her...twice!! If I remember correctly, which, let's face it, is probably not the case; it was her birthday too!

I had an absolute blast that night...from what I can remember. I remember waking up the next morning with a massive headache in a strange hotel room. There was a paper plate sitting next to the bed.

"Michael, who the fuck came into our room and was eating?"
"That's yours from last night."
"We never ate in the room; someone was in here snooping around, damn paparrazi!"
"No that's yours, we stopped for Pizza last night."
"Don't be stupid, I think I would remember eating pizza last night, Michael."

As you can see from exhibit A&B, to the left, It wasn't until I got home and looked at my camera that I realized Michael was right, it was my plate, and we did eat Pizza before bed.

ADR for Chronicles of a lonely Mind was completed a few months later in Calabassis at a studio geared more towards recording music, so while I was there I asked if it was possible to lay down a few tracks. Unfortunately Chris didn't have the time or energy required to actually make my voice sound half way decent. Chronicles of a Lonely Mind was finished shortly after the ADR session and it has since been submitted into the Sundance Film Festival.

Speaking of Michael, he recently had his first annual Big Bear Horror Film Festival. Obviously the event was in Big Bear...DUH!!! And it was a huge success; hopefully next year we will be able to take Hollywood Nobody on a little vacay!!

This last week Michael and I headed to Hollywood for the OUTFEST screening of Auntie Mame, at the Egyptian Theater. Michael and I had never seen the film before, but had heard good things about it.

I finished parking my car at the Hollywood and Highland parking structure (Ramp for those in Minnesota) and excited the shopping center to be greeted by bright light and flashing cameras. The darn paparazzi are just way to quick; how did they even know that I was there? That's when Michael called me to let me know that AVATAR was having it's movie premier and the Chinese Theater... Thanks so much for crushing my dreams, Michael, you always do that.

Back to Auntie Mame; Michael and I both thought that the film was a musical; however 10 mins into the film they had not had ANY musical numbers... Clearly we were misinformed. If you have never seen Auntie Mame, I highly recommend it; It is an incredibly funny and campy film!!

There was one moment during the movie, I felt like I was transformed to a different world! There I was a young Simba, crouching in a field while the haunting sounds of Scar's Hyena freaks cackled in my ear, their high pitched screams of laughter threatening to pierce through my ear drums. Suddenly one of the hyenas started to violently punch my Lion paw as the scene melted away his face was replaced with Michael's familiar mug...

YES MICHAEL, I AM SAYING YOU WERE LAUGHING LIKE A SCREECHING HYINA!!! But you know I love you anyway, even if you did bruise my "Lion Paw"

PS, thanks for taking care of my drunk as on my birthday!

Feature Audition

2009-06-23T14:56:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I had an audition for an exciting gay themed feature film. The name of the film isn't necessarily that important. This entry isn't necessarily about whether or not I got the part as much as it is about the audition itself. This was my first audition for a lead role in a feature, and overall I felt it went really well.

I got the call to come in for an audition on a Wednesday which would take place that same Friday. My initial response, as always, is excitement, my second response is, "HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA GET IN SHAPE IN TIME?!?!?!" Clearly an impossible task, even with thousands of dollars in plastics.

The day of the audition I was feeling a little sluggish so I stopped at Starbucks to get a Venti Carmel Machiato extra shot upside down. Let's just say by the time I was in front of the casting group, I was flying around the room.

When I arrived at the casting location, I was about an hour early so I sat in my car and called Michael to have him listen to me run lines. After about a half an hour we both decided that I was as ready as I was ever going to be and that I should just go into the audition. Well that and Michael had to finish a re-write on his play, "About Eve." apparently he was working on a suicide scene that is so good it caused him to cry...he's soooo gay!!

When I entered the building there were two other people waiting to audition. One was another guy who was auditioning for the same part. He was cute, but his audition seemed a little shorter than it should have been. I assume that he probably read only one of the sides. After the second person was finished with her audition it was time for me.

Casting Assistant: Have you seen any of these two films?

Me: Yes actually, I own the second one. I believe I got it in a raffle at the Shelter event at The Standard Hotel...No wait, actually I stole it from that event.

Casting Assistant: Oh really? You know there are quite a few people in this room that are missing out on those royalties now.

Me: Hehe (Nervous laugh) Well I didn't really steal it, it was part of a gift basket at the event and I made sure that my basket had the second film in it. So since it was in a gift basket, I assume that SOMEONE paid for it...right??

The other people in the room laugh, and the audition begins. After reading the first side, I wasn't really expecting to read the second, and I certainly didn't expect to read the third set. When the reading was threw it was not time to take off my shirt and do a spin on the stage. I took a deep breath and did my best to suck in my little belly and did my spin as a small room of Gay men sat and judge my "pudgy" little body.

After the audition was over I made my way over to the writer of the project to finally officially introduce myself.

Me: Hey you're _________(Writer) right?

Writer: Yes.

Me: Oh Hi. I think I've seen you out a bunch of West Hollywood events, but never got the chance to officially meet or introduce myself to you.

Writer: Oh well it's nice to meet you

Me: Yeah, normally those parties are so crowded. I mean I make my way up to say hi to you, but by the time I get close enough the crowd is so massive I have to snake my way through and before I get a chance to say hey, my hand has accidentally grabbed your crotch or ass. I've actually called myself your accidental celebrity molester in the blog that I write. (More)

Everyone laughs.

Totally on accident...not that I wouldn't do it on purpose as well...

Laughing continues.

Reading Partner: You know Freud says there is no such thing as an accident. Maybe it was a bit of a Freudian slip.

Me: Maybe....

Director: (Laughing) You know you could use THAT as your comedic monologue.

END SCENE

After I left the audition I felt pretty good about my chances, so I did what any Gay in Hollywood would do. I took out my phone to update Facebook and Twitter! Before I got a chance to update I noticed that while in my audition, the writer of the project updated his status saying something about all of Facebook auditioning on the same day and wishing us all luck.

I wasn't sure whether this was a good sign or a bad sign. One on hand he may have recognized me from Facebook. On the other he may have been bored enough with my audition to go online. hmmm...

I immediately called Michael after the audition and had to apologize for interrupting his girly moment as I could hear him frantically blowing his nose into a tissue while weeping uncontrollably.

I later found out that Michael was being contacted to work on the same project, and had a meeting set up for the following week. At this meeting Michael mentioned that I had auditioned for the project and thought that it was going to be a great movie. The Director mentioned to Michael that he remembered who I was, but never mentioned whether that was good thing or a bad thing...oh well. Michael was offered a crew position on the film, but he ultimately had to turn it over to a co-worker of his as he had a previous obligation.

Unfortunately, as confident as I was in my audition, I did not get the part. I blame the moment when I had to take off my shirt and everyone cast their eyes upon my nipples, which are roughly the size of mini quiches, but I prefer to think I just didn't fit the description of the character as well as the others who audition.

Principle photography has begun on this project and I have seen pictures of the people who were cast in lead roles. After seeing these pictures, I feel that the casting directors did a great job; they have a hot cast and I cannot wait to see the film and write a review on my blog.

Twitter!

2009-05-20T12:37:00.001-07:00

Dearest Fans,

We currently live in a society where information is supposed to be quick and easy. I, for one, have never really been a fan of ANYTHING quick and easy; however, have decided to jump on the Twitter Bandwagon. Yes, that is correct; you can now follow Hollywood Nobody on Twitter!!

You'll have to bear with me though as I am trying to learn to use the damn thing. Normally, I find social networking sites to be quite user friendly, but I am having problems understanding the twitter. I guess it's just another sign that I am getting older. Who knows maybe in the next year or so, when I am 28, I can get work as an incoming Freshman on GLEE.

Love Always,
Hollywood Nobody

OH YEAH!!!

Speaking of GLEE, I was so excited to be able to sit down today and watch what is most definitely be FOX'S newest hit on their upcoming fall line up; however when I went to watch American Idol today, I was experiencing a few technical difficulties with our AT&T U-VERSE. After getting a little impatient I went downstairs to reboot the system. Usually after a reboot it takes a little time for any DVR recording to show up; however, an hour after the reboot I started to get nervous when none of the 22 recordings on my DVR (including GLEE) showed up.

After my panic attack started to subside, I called AT&T to fix the problem; however, it only got worse. The Gaysian I was speaking with was incredibly difficult to understand and after he asked me to reboot again the system never came back online, but went into a rebooting cycle. All my precious shows were lost. I missed the following season finales: Fringe, Gossip Girl (Not sure if that was the finale), Supernatural, Smallville, Grey's Anatomy, and American Idol. as well as the sneek preview of GLEE and mutiple movies recorded in the past month.

As I right this the cable guy is sitting in front of me hooking up the new cable box; however, I will never be able to retreve those lost recordings. I guess I will just have to watch them online...If possible. I am so sad I missed this...

Shameless Plugs

2009-05-12T17:21:00.000-07:00

Here is the link to the interview I did recently with Edge New York. It's about being gay in Hollywood. There are a couple good quotes for me plus a link back to this blog and LOGO Online where you can watch and vote for my first project, "Neurotica."

On The Cutting Room Floor

2009-04-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

Recently (April 19) one of my films, The Border, had it's world premiere in LA. Shooting this film was, by far, one of the more interesting experiences I have had as we shot my scenes in a movie studio instead of a location that was rented out for the evening. I am not saying that one of these is preferable to the other, just that it was an interesting experience as you could go from the room we were shooting in (backstage and catwalk at a fashion show) into another room set up for 70's retro porn...You know the kind with knee highs and Afro hairdos.

My character was Austin Lypkinn, a flamboyant clothing designer that I played as across between Christian Siriano and Janice Dickinson. Let's just say I was a demanding fierce bitch, and as far as I could tell everyone on set was loving what I was doing. During the backstage scene our conversations were all improved, after most of the takes, I could hear people commenting on a line I had just said. Usually it was something mean I just said to my models like, "It's not the dress, bitch it's you." or, "Did I give you black??? Then that's what I want."

After such a positive experience during shooting I was so anxious to finally get a chance to see the entire finished product. 5 months later I heard rumors amungst some of the cast I am still in contact with, that the film would be premiering on April 19th. As the date drew nearer and nearer I found it unsettleing that I had not gotten my invitiation to the premier and contacted somone regarding the obvious error that occured at the e-mail post office. Stupid e-mail post man...

As it turned out, the theater had limited seating so not everyone was invited to go, but I had a loop hole as a fellow cast mate and friend had been invited and I could possible go as her plus one! Ahh the life of a Hollywood Socialite, sneeking your way into movie premiers that you weren't invited to through the emergency exit of the theatre, just so the paparazzi wont bother you.

Oh I was so excited, until a once in a lifetime opportunity arouse for me to go on a Mexican Riviera Cruise with RSVP vacations for practically free. Clearly I jumped on the new opportunity and was sailing off with literally a boat load of homos to Mexico. For those of you wondering, I did not contract the Swine Flu while in Mexico, but I did see some dirty pigs on board the ship...

The Cruise was an amazing experience and I was able to meet Debbie (Fucking) Reynolds!!! Not only that, but she knew my name, and my right hand shook her right hand. In a way this means that my right hand, through transfurance, may or may not have touched Frank Sinatra's balls...or Dean Martin's; take your pick.

Also I feel I should mention that while on board the ship, a creepy old man offered me $250 dollars for a little under the covers fun. EXCUSE ME!!! $250!!! That's all??? When I mentioned this to one of the headliners during her performance the other cruisers started an auction for my ass...It only got up to $500, which would have paid for my entire cruise, but I declined. Number one, I'm not a whore...Number two, this ass hasn't been tapped in six years...Do you know how tight this shit is??? It's re-vigirnized, that's worth a lot more than $500

Upon returning from the cruise, I contacted my friend who went to the premier about the film. She said it was fabulous, but that she hated to be the bearer of bad news. Apparently not only was I not invited to the premier, but they also left my scenes in a bloody mess on the cutting room floor. As an actor, you learn to accept that these things happen and it often has no reflection on your performance, but is a matter of time constraints...or at least that's what my friend who is a director tells me... Hopefully the editor hasn't taken out the trash and I can sweep my scenes up off the floor and put them into my acting reel.

Childhood Dreams Can Come True!!

2009-03-30T14:57:00.001-07:00

Today I had my first interview about being an out actor for an online publication called EDGE New York. After the interview I asked the author how he found my blog. It just so happens that he was GOOGLE-ING the "Gay Today in Hollywood" event that I attended a few weeks ago. Also turns out he will be interviewing one of the panelist as well. This same panelist recently rejected my friend request on facebook; probably because I am gay...what the hell?

During the interview we talked about what my experience has been like as an out actor; different road blocks I may have encountered, and the future of LGBT people in the entertainment industry. Overall the experience was fun and I cannot wait to see the article. Obviously I will post a link once to the story once it has been published.

Before the interview even began I heard the best news EVER!! This news literally is a dream come true. This re-occuring dream has often been so real that I have had to remind myself that it was just a dream, that I can't just go to Netflix and add this film to my list...There is no GHOSTBUSTERS 3....Until now!!!

On the radio today, I heard that there were reports that Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky (THE OFFICE) have been working on the third installment of the Ghostbusters franchise. After returning home, I did a little GOOGLE research, which confirmed the story. If I had a webcamera, this is where I would insert the priceless video footage of me dancing around in my bedroom to Ray Parker Jr.'s "GHOSTBUSTERS"

As a child I collected most of the Ghostbuster toys including the firehouse, proton pack, ghost trap, and the action figures. Probably one of my more butch toy collections, even if I did prefer the Janine Melnitz action figure over the others.

One of my favorite scenes:

I even had friends the live in this apartment building...needless to say, I'm slightly obsessed. I am super excited about this project to be made. It would fullfill one of my earliest childhood dreams to be involved in this project. I truly hope that everyone really is seperated from eachother by 6 degrees...Perhaps there is a role in the script for me as the flamboyant love child of Janine Melnitz and Louis Tully.

"AHHHHHH he sssslimed me..."

Gay Today in Hollywood

2009-03-23T17:16:00.000-07:00

Last week on Thursday I headed over to the WGA for the Gay Today in Hollywood event. I had fun at the event but was a little disappointed as the title suggested that every person who was gay and in Hollywood on that particular day would be there, apparently this was not the case.

Here I thought I was going to an event where I would be stuffed in a room with thousands of other gay people, packed in like a bunch of sardines...What better way to get to know your neighbors than a little "accidental" grab ass. Instead what I got was a room full of gorgeous LGBT writers, directors, producers, probably a bunch of actors, and one agent...Well only one agent who was willing to out himself.

In all actuality I thoroughly enjoyed this event and found the panel discussion very informative and helpful in my, hopeful, future working in the entertainment industry. The panelist included the following:

Honey Labrador and Christopher Racster (Last Bastion Ent), Arthur Allen Seidelman (tv& film director), Sandy Weinberg (Agent), Howard Bragman (15 minutes PR), Liz Feldman (Emmy winning writer - Ellen), Kevin Goetz (Motion Picture Group OTX Research) and Dustin Lance Black (Oscar Winning Writer - Milk) The moderator for the event was a friend of mine JD Disalvatore. Click on the following links to read "real" press reviews of the event.

LINK
LINK

Knowing who was going to be a panelist at this event I decided that it was time I ended my involvement in another very important event. This March a few co-workers and myself decided to take part in "March Mustache Madness," an event in which participants are not allowed to shave their upper lip for the entire month. I made it two weeks before only having a mustache started driving me crazy, prompting me to grow out a goatee as well. All in all I made it 19 days and have discovered that while my hair itself is light brown, my facial hair is strawberry blond!!!

So anyway, since Lance Black was going to be there, I knew I HAD to shave it all off. I mean I simply couldn't go out supporting my future husband looking like Mickey McFinnigan, Peter Griffin's Drunken Irish Dad!!!

I was supposed to be joined in the event by my friend Michael; however, once again Michael was working on a film before the event started and once again, they ended up shooting longer than originally thought.

When I arrived the guy at the reception table checked me in saying, "You have a plus one?" As if he didn't believe me...Thanks, another reminder that I am eternally single.

I informed the guy that, "...my plus one is a looser, asshole, sun a bitch, cocksucking, homo, with anal leakage."

To which he responded saying, "Hmm...that name might be a little difficult to remember. Let him know that if he would like to arrive later, he should probably check in using your name, instead of his own. Also he might want to stay away from chips that contain Olestra."

Michael never did show up; however, his ex roommate did make an appearance giving me someone to sit next to. Pretty soon the event was about to start and they opened the room for audience members to take their seats. Before the event started two more friends of mine, John and Jane, showed up and took seats near mine. Also sitting near me was the fabulous Thea Gill (Queer as Folk, Dante's Cove, Mulligan's), and I believe I caught a glimpse of No H8 Campaign Photographer, Adam Bouska. Adam also is the genius behind my head shots, I'm normally not so ridiculously good looking.

Again the event was great, and quite informative. In a touching turn of events during the evenings last question/comment, an audience member came out as a Heterosexual. Someone later told me that they thought that it was a ploy for attention, but he was probably just jealous he didn't think of it first. I personally believe Heterosexuality is a sick choice, and a severe terrorist threat. I do have to admire this individual for having the balls to stand up and speak out in a room full of people who would prefer to amend the Constitution to discriminate against his kind for fear that allowing them to marry would taint the sanctity of our marriages as well as our currently impeccable education system. Don't get me wrong, I have friends that are heterosexual; I mean my parents and sister are all heterosexual so....yeah.

When the panel discussion was over, guests were invited to mingle in the reception room over dessert and Diet Coke. This would have been the perfect opportunity to introduce myself to my future husband and the father of my children; however, like multiple other people in the world, I have trouble approaching people I am attracted to. Apparently now that I am out in Hollywood, I get to add to that intimidation the fact that he is an Oscar winner and I am a "Nobody" drowning in a sea of "Somebody's." So instead of acting like a normal, "Sane" person introducing myself to my soon to be neighbor/lover and achieving even the shortest of conversations I settled for slithering my way through the sardine can and achieving the slightest, not even noticeable "accidental" grab ass.

From the Archives

2009-03-08T14:52:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, I realized the other day that I haven't posted any entries in the last month or so. The reasoning behind this is that I have started my final semester at school, and there have not been that many blog worthy moments recently. With that said, I don't want to leave you all hanging for another month, so I decided to pull an entry from the Hollywood Nobody Archives, from this blogs humble beginnings on Myspace. Enjoy.

Some People Just Don’t Have Any Manners - Originally posted March 15, 2008

The other day, at a friend’s birthday party:
-Michael and I met cool people
-I had a few drinks

One of the "cool" new people that I met decided to join Michael and I at Here Lounge when we were bored of the Standard. Once we got to Here lounge, my throat felt a little parched, so I made my way to the bar to order a long island. The long island cost $12 and I was able to have two sips of it before they kicked everyone out of the bar. Thank you so much mister bartender for telling me this. I would not have ordered the drink had I known.

After Michael and I exited the bar, we could not find our new friend anywhere, so me decided to just walk back to the Standard where we had left my car. Suddenly he pulls up next to us, so we get into the car. At this point he tells us we are going to an after party and pulls into a parking structure and stops. Michael and I assume that this means it’s time to get out of the car; however, our new friend told us we were not staying there.

Suddenly he pulls from his pocket a fine white power, which he begins to carefully separate into lines with his California State Drivers License. Michael and I start freaking out, thus beginning the texting war.

"Oh my god."
"What the fuck"
"Should we leave?"
"Save me!!!"

After our new friend finished his line, he turned to Michael and offered the drugs to him. Michael declined, so our new friend shrugged his shoulders, turned around and the did the line himself.....umm excuse me.....hello??? I SAID HELLO????

Ok so you’re right I totally would have turned down the drugs, but what the fuck? Am I not sitting right next to you? Can you see me?? I really do not know what I am more upset about; the fact he was doing drugs in-front of me, or the fact that he offered some to my friend, but not to me....Apparently I am not good enough for your drugs.

Some people just don’t have any manners.

Between Love and Goodbye Theatrical Release

2009-01-27T10:04:00.000-08:00

Casper Andreas's newest film, Between Love and Goodbye will celebrate it's theatrical release on January 30th in NYC at the Chelsea Clearview Cinema! Click here for ticket info! Not going to be in NYC on January 30th? That's OK, the film will also be released in LA in March at Laemmle Sunset 5.

I saw this film back in September while it was playing the festival circuit (Fresno) where I was able to meet the wonderful cast as well as Casper. I highly recommend that you see this film when it opens in a theater near you.

Congratulations to Rob Harmon who I hear just won BEST ACTOR at the gay film festival in Grand Canary for his work as April/Cole.

Smoking Cocktail Mixer; My Brush With Fame

2009-01-22T11:57:00.000-08:00

Last night was the Smoking Cocktail Mixer at O Bar. For weeks I was excited that I was actually going to be able to go this month. I always have such a great time at this event and meet or reconnect with really interesting people. This month's mixer was no exception; however, I almost did not go.

I was supposed to meet my friend Michael at the event around 8:00; however found out later in the day at the film he is currently working on decided to move the call time back to 9:00 am, so Michael said he was going to be done at 9:00 pm. Of course I know better than that, but Michael remained hopeful. Not really wanting to go to the event and sit around waiting for him all night, I was on the fence about whether or not to go. Of course I also knew that had I not gone, I would have sat at home regretting it all night, so I made my way to West Hollywood's O Bar.

Upon arriving in WeHo, as usual, my bladder was screaming at me. I am not sure if it is just me, but trying to find a public restroom in West Hollywood is like trying to find a homosexual in Idaho. Luckily for me and my pants, this time was different. As though it were coming from an angel in heaven, I heard the musical stylings of Melissa Etheridge, telling me to come to her window. After findind the source of this angelic message I knew I had found a place with a restroom that would be available to me.

After entering O Bar for the event I was so happy that I actually decided to go. I spent the majority of the night having various conversations with a few people I had just met that night. One of them, Rosie was the co-producer for "In Twilight's Shaddow," a lesbian vampire flick, that I hope to review my blog shortly. Just to show what a small world the independ film industry is, I just found out that my friend Erin Tanaka did the costume design on that same project. The other person I talked with a majority of the evening was Dalila Ali Rajah from After Ellen's "Cherry Bomb," which I have also not yet seen, but have heard is great.

In addition to these two fabulous lesbians I had many conversations with John W. McLaughlin, an out actor and producer. One of John's current projects is called "Slate and Kelly." John is seriously destined for a network sitcom, he is highly entertaining.

In between our conversations I made an interesting observation about the Gay community in West Hollywood. It appears as though they like to make it as difficult as possible to walk around in public spaces, there are numerous areas of impossible passage. In O Bar, if you want to move to the other side of the bar you either squeeze between herds of gay men and lesbians or go out onto the patio and walk around; which is still not a guarantee it will be easy. I assume that the reasoning behind this phenomenon is that some gay men will do whatever it takes to get a few free feels in.

For instance, I was walking out onto the patio with John and passed by a group of three men, one of whom I recognized at Allen Brocka, director of "Boy Culture" and "Rick and Steve" on LOGO. In a previous entry I wrote about how I saw Allan at a different event, probably an OUTFEST party, and while trying to squeeze behind him, my hand accidently brushed against his ass. Of course this accidental touch did not go unnoticed causing him to turn around to face his accidental molestor.

This time as John and I squeezed past the group in an attempt to see what was going on on the other side of the bar my right hand accidently brushed against a denim covered crotch. Looking back I noticed that the only person in that group wearing jeans was Allan Brocka! I'm afriad that if this continues to happen, I'll develope a reputation as a gorilla celebrity molestor; not exactly what I had in mind as a child looking forward to possible brushes with fame...

A Letter to Sundance

2009-01-19T14:49:00.000-08:00

As some of you might know, the Sundance film festival is going on at this moment. I have to be honest with you. I am pretty sad that I was not able to go this year. Just think about how much more amazing their press would have been this year had I been able to go! Ashley Judd, Paris Hilton, Mariah Carey???? PAH-LEAZE!!!

I felt like I really needed to apologize to the folks at Sundance and the local community that is Park City regarding my absence, so I send them the following letter.

Dearest Sundance Film Festival and the community of Park City Utah,

I know my absence this year is emotionally and financially devistating. I understand and share your disappointment; however, I ask that you do not let it effect your wonderful film festival this year.

As you are walking down the street frigid street searching for some small scrap of heat, take comfort knowing that in LA I am lounging outside in the 80 degree weather. As you lay your head down on your pillow to try and get some well deserved sleep only to find that you can't because your flat mate is screwing someone's brains out in the bed next to yours, take comfort that I am cuddled up in my bedroom alone with the sound of the Santa Ana winds to lull me sleep.

As you order that morning Mimosa surrounded by fabulous people and A list celebrities making your all important network connections, take comfort that I am back in California serving ignortant men 6 Michalobe Ultra's and 6 Gilbey's Vodka with Redbull having to bite my tounge while they continuously use hateful, demeaning, and homophobic language for fear I will lose my job if I were to speak up.

Guess I can't win them all.

Hope your 2009 film festival is a huge success!

All my love,

Daniel Frank
Hollywood Nobody

I am still awaiting a responce from a Sundance representative and my various VIP gift baskets.

MILK AFI Screening!

2009-01-08T14:37:00.000-08:00

Last night I gathered up a few of my friends,Michael, Chris, and my favorite Barista aka Coffee Bitch/rock n roller, Kariann, to head into Hollywood to see the AFI (American Film Institute) screening of MILK. The entire theater was sold out as this event was followed by a Q & A with Director Gus Van Sant, Composer Danny Elfman, Screen Writer Dustin Lance Black, and Actor Josh Brolin!

I unfortunately am at a complete loss for words as to what I want to say about this film. It was abosulutely amazing. The Writer and Director have both been nominated for awards from thier unions, and both of them are 100% deserving.

For those that might not be aware, MILK, is a film about the political life of Harvey Milk, who was the first openly Gay person voted into public office. Milk was a big player in the LGBT rights movement. He helped defeat proposition 6 in California. Prop 6 would have made it legal and manditory to fire Gay teachers and anyone else who supported LGBT rights. There are still a numbers of states where where it is completely legal to fire somone simply for being LGBT.

MILK is by far, the best movie I have seen all year. Ok so the year just started, and this is the first film I have seen thus far, but I would say that even if I had seen MILK in 2008. GO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!

As this is not a film review entry, lets get back to my experience. After a long and traffic filled drive from Orange County (Which is "lovingly" mentioned in MILK) we nearly died twice, we arrived at the Arclight in time for a little dinner. Since all of my friends and I are uber loaded, we opted for the five star cuisne and ambiance that is Baja Fresh.

After dinner we headed to the theater where we decided to take our seats early. Normally I would have been appauld by the seats we were stuck with, since we bought the tickets on short notice; however, because this screening included a Q & A, the second row clearly meant we were ultra VIP...In fact I think Josh Brolin made eyes at me a couple of times. (OK not really)

At one point during the screening I thought we had experienced an earthquake until I used my periferal vision and noticed that one of my friends was crying so hard he was shaking. Like a good friend I completely ignored him and left the job of consoling to the stranger sitting to his left. She was quit the trooper patting his back and letting him know it was all gonna be ok. Later, when that same friend noticed my hands are always cold he said it must be because I am a heartless bitch. Hmmm...thats an interesting theory...

After the Q & A Michael chased after Josh Brolin whom he claimed to have worked with before, while Chris had me take this picture of him with Danny Elfman. Kariann just looked on afraid to offend the celibrity gods that stood before us as we told her to not be so shy.

Feeling dejected by his "friend" Josh Brolin, Michael decided we should go to the Sushi bar next door for some free Champagne. Where we met up with Nelson from DIVA and his friend. Unfortunately we had to cut our conversations short as I was forcing Kariann to wake up before God herself to make my fucking coffee...Heartless???? I think not!

Harvey Milk
(May 22, 1930 - November 27, 1978)

It's another New Year!

2009-01-02T11:49:00.000-08:00

Wow 2008 certainly flew by quickly! I am very excited for this upcoming year as it hold many exciting changes for me, both of which should mean more entries regarding my progress within the craziness that is Hollywood.

The first being that I will once again graduate from a college program possibly giving me the opportunity to finally get out of, or significantly decrease my commitment to the restaurant industry. The second exciting event will be to move from my Uncle's house to the LA area, unfortunately none of these changes will occur for, at least, another six months.

As some of you know this last year has been an exciting one for me. I have gotten the chance to meet some people and experience things that I never dreamed I would be able to do. As I am desperately trying to not make this entry read like all those boring year end roundups you get from family members I will end it by saying.

In this new year I hope for all of you, much laughter, health, happiness, and success. I hope that this new year signifies growth for us all; individually, as well as a nation. 2009 will most certainly be a year for great change.

Much Love,

Daniel Frank
Hollywood Nobody

The Border Update!!

2008-12-08T17:15:00.000-08:00

Here is the music that my models used to walk down the runway in the upcoming film, The Border; directed by Henri Charr. Just imagine my surprise when the music came up and it just happened to be my favorite new artist, Lady Gaga. I hope they are able to use this song in the actual film...That would be awesome!!!

I checked IMDB for information on the film, there is a site up for it, but I have not yet been credited for being involved. I am new to the whole IMDB thing so I am not sure if I have to add myself or what. IMDB said that it's release date is scheduled for Feb 3, 2009. I will give you more updates as they come up, but in the meantime enjoy "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga. Too bad the model in the white towel wasn't in the scene with me...Maybe in the sequel.

The Gift of Itty Bitty Titties

2008-12-05T14:27:00.000-08:00

It's been quit awhile since I have updated the website with a film review, unfortunately that is because I have not seen many LGBT films that I have liked enough to review. Today is a new day and I just watched a GREAT Lesbian film brought to us by POWER UP and director Jamie Babbit who also directed the hilarious "But I'm a Cheerleader." At this point some of you may already know that I am taking about "Itty Bitty Titty Committee."

The film follows Anna (Melanie Diaz) on her journey from push over to radical feminist after she meets Sadie (Nicole Vicius) and joins her Feminist Movement group called Clits in Action (CIA). It is a great film with a strong feminist perspective and great message.

This being a film with a strong political message, I admit I thought it would run dry after awhile; however, the Guerilla statements made by the CIA made it amusing, exciting, and fun. I highly enjoyed everything about this film. The direction, acting, cinematography, and above all the writing were all of a quality few LGBT Independent films are able to pull off.

Because of the amazing story I recommend this film not only to Lesbian Feminists, all of whom have most likely already seen this film, but also to Women who are struggling with their own self image. "Try loving your itty bitty titties!"

Itty Bitty Titty Committee is written by Tina Maybry and Abigail Shafran. "Itty Bitty Titty Committee is a rockin love song to the heady rush of sex, freedom and rebellion that happens when an everyday girl discovers her own strength and the righteous indignation needed to take action and change the world."

Below is the trailer as well as a link to Wolfe Video, where you buy the film.

This Christmas, give the gift of Itty Bitty Titties.

Only a True DIVA Arrived With Drama

2008-11-19T15:14:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I got a call from a friend that I worked on my second film, "Chronicles of a Lonely Mind," with. Her name is Erin, and she was calling to see if I would interested in helping out on her current project called, "The Border." Thinking it sounded like it would be a blast, I quickly agreed and was book to play Austin Lypkinn, a gay fashion designer with a fetish for safety pins.

The day of the shoot I woke up early and headed to Downtown LA for my 6:30 am call time. Of course, assuming that there would lots of traffic and forgetting that the next day was a holiday, I left at 5:00. I clearly wanted to stop off at Starbucks, but realized as soon as I got there, that I clearly woke up before God...literally. (God meaning Starbucks!!)

Seeing that Starbucks was closed I decided to just head to the shoots location. The freeway was dead, there was no one around and I arrived in Downtown LA an hour before the shoot. Bored out of my mind I whipped out my cell phone and began texting my friend Micheal telling him about the shoot and how excited I was to finally be back on a film set.

The texting continued and my call time drew nearer. I decided I better get out of the car and feed the meter a little before figuring out where a safe place to park would be. As I walked back to the driver side door to sit back in my car, I noticed my car keys were sitting on the seat...I had locked the car door!!!!

"Just great!" I thought, "Only a true DIVA arrives with drama!"

Luckily I had my AAA card with me, I was able to call them and they came out within 20 minutes to open the door for me. Shortly after we began to block my first scene of the day; backstage at a fashion show. I did not have any lines in this scene; however they did want some bacjground chatter while they established what was going on in the scene. This meant I got to do a little improve. I had a blast as in this scene I was able to establish my character, a cross between a Project Runway finalist and Janice Dickenson. (When she is being "mean.")

Apparently a lot of the crew liked what I was doing as well as they kept coming up to me between takes repeating something I had just said. "DID I GIVE YOU BLACK??? THEN THA'S WHAT I WANT!!!"

In the next scene we shot all the fashion designers got to show of their clothing lines. Mine was called "Precious Vicious Clothing," which is slightly difficult to say so I got a little nervous about screwing it up. Oh yeah, they also changed my lines within an hour of shooting that scene so I was afraid that I would forget my lines, luckily I did not.

The entire day was so great, I had an amazing time and cannot wait to see this film. In the meantime the photos that I have will just have to do.

United We Stand, United We Conquer!!!

2008-11-07T10:20:00.000-08:00

As many of you have seen on the national new coverage, the gays have "taken it to the street," in protest of Prop 8 passing in California. Prop 8 was a proposition on Tuesday's election ballot that took away the fundamental right of same sex couples to legally marry in the state of California. I for one feel like a lousy excuse for a gay man because, thus far, I have been unable to attend any of these protests.

I have heard many people question why were not as unified before the election as we are now. I really wish I had an answer to that question; however, it is so amazing to see us all marching in the streets. I often seen several situations where gay men put down lesbians or vice-versa.

There have been numerous times when I have wanted to go to a lesbian party, celebration, or bar and I am greeted with questioning looks from my gay male peers. I think that kind of behavior is shocking, sickening, and incredibly disappointed. One of my great lesbian friends has entered numerous gay bars only to be verbally booted out by the gay men inside, "What are YOU doing here??? This is a GAY BAR..."

It's very important in times like these to remember that WE ARE FAMILY. The lesbians our Mothers, Sisters, Daughters, and Friends; the Gay Men our Brothers, Sons, Fathers, and Friends. It's great to FINALLY see us ALL working together to accomplish our shared goal. Only when we truly work together and support each other can we achieve equality. Divided we are one or few, united we are numerous, we are massive, we are a community. United we stand, united we conquer.

I have included some great photos that can be seen on the front lines of the protest. Facebook and Myspace have been immensly important in the organization of these protests. Please, even if you do not live in California, check out these websites to see if there is a protest in your area. This will soon be a strong nationwide effort and your help is needed!!

For more information on the protests in LA, including pictures and video coverage, please check out JD Disalvatore's Blog, The Smoking Cocktail.

2009 Mazda 6: Mazda Refined??

2008-10-28T15:36:00.000-07:00

I am taking a quick step back from my normal entries about the ongoings as a Hollywood Nobody to bring you an important news story. This story is especially important if you are in the market for a new car and are concidering the new 2009 Mazda 6 series.

As some of you may already know, my 2000 Mazda 626 is nearing the end of it's short lived life. That bitch may only be 8 years old but she sure has gotten around. With 112,888 miles on her she has seen the North Shores of Lake Superior, the endless, tiresome, and vast amount of corn crops in Iowa, the wild fires of Oklahoma in early 2006, the dry deserts of Arizona, and lets not forget the warm sandy beaches of Southern California. Come to think of it, she has seen more truck stop restrooms than people three or four times her age...

With that lovely memorial out of the way, let me clear the air by stating that I am not happy that we will soon have to part ways. While it has been a great car and 112,888 miles is a lot, even though other cars can go further. Like my cousins ugly ass Toyota truck from 1992 or something. That whore has around 250,000 miles! As I was saying, 112,88 miles is a lot; however, I do not believe this should be the end of the road for "Missy Mrazda." Alas do to a humongous design flaw by Mazda Motors that they are not willing to fix on their dime, we will soon be forced to part ways.

Last Thursday I noticed that my O/D (Over Drive) light was blinking so I called up the local Mazda dealership to make an appointment to have their "Dr's" take a look at her. Throughout the week while driving the car the O/D light would continuously blink during the afternoon and not blink during the evening.

Early this morning I drove to the Tustin/Irvine area, home of the "Yes on 8" lawn banner to bring Missy into the Mazda Dealership; the prognosis was not good. They said that the fluid in my transmission had turned into a thick tar and that as a result I would need to update the Transmission Cooler Kit. They then told me it would cost $1,300 to update this kit and promised that I would have the car back in for a new Transmission in the near future. At this point they gleefully connected me to George, a sales associate who wanted to tell me all about the new 2009 Mazda 6 series (Which is actually a hot looking car, but at over $20,000 is a little out of my price range.)

Devistated by the news that I would soon have to delve even deeper into debt than I already am, I hung up the phone and waited for the shuttle to pick me up so I could try to enjoy my last few months with Missy; upon exiting the dealership lot, a single tear rolled down my left cheeck catching the sunlight, which cast a rainbow on the roof...A sign from Missy that things would surly be ok.

When I got back to the Anaheim Hills area, I brought Missy to see her normal Dr, Frank, for a second and more valued opinion. Frank told me that the paperwork I held infront of me describing the surgical procedure that Missy would need to buy her a few extra months was called a tecnical service bulletin. He countinued by saying that the Engineering God's on Mount Mazda had created Missy as well as her brothers and sisters with a FN4A-EL Automatic Transmission, which is made by FORD. The inclusion of said transmission resulted in a design flaw, and that I should contact Mazda immediately and demand that they pay for the repairs since it was their fault and not mine.

I quickly skipped back to Missy believing I had found the cure for what ailed her and that we could spend many more years together. When I got home I immediatley called Mazda and explained the situation informing them, that I felt they should pay for my repairs.

Johnathan, the representative from Mazda, dissagreed with me saying that the transmission was a problem, but that the proceedure I held in front of me was the "fix it," for that problem. Since a fix it was easily found there had not been a recall. Since there had not ben a recall, Johnathan Johnathan told me that the entire proceedure would have to be taken from my tiny little pockets. When I asked him if they accpeted pocket lint and an Orbitz gum wraper as legal tender he thanked me for calling and then hung up the phone.

At this time, I was really angry and decided to do a little google research, where I found out that this it not just a problem with Missy's brothers and sisters born in the year 2000, but an ongoing problem that has effected models from 1993 to possibly the 2006 model of the Mazda 6i!!!

I am appauled that Mazda, a company that makes "affordable" cars for the middle class family continued to knowingly install faulty transmissions causing serious design errors for over a decade without a recall!! Not only did Mazda not recall these vehicles, but they also passed the cost of the repairs, which for me could total nearly $7,000 when all is said and done, onto their consumers!!! If I had to guess I would say my car is only worth $2,000...if that!!

When I bought my Mazda, I did not buy it because it was a pretty car, I did not buy it because it was a fast car, which it is not, and I certainly did not buy it because all the cool kids at school drove Mazdas instead of BMW's or Lexus; I bought a Mazda because I was told it was an affordable car and that it was highly reliable...Reliable???? Compared to what???

Click here to read what other people are saying about thier Mazda 626 Automatic Transmissions.

If you currently drive a Mazda 626, 3, or 6 click here to find out what kind of hose could have saved me a lot of money with little cost. It's called a transmission cooling coil.

If you are currently thinking about buying the New 2009 Mazda 6 series, make sure you ask them questions about the new transmission they have installed I believe it's called JATCO.

Alien Cockblockin'

2008-10-20T13:56:00.001-07:00

While I am not currently on it, I just wanted to let everyone know I FINALLY GOT MY COMPUTER BACK FROM THE DAMNED GEEK SQUAD!!

Boy I tell you, those guys kept the computer for nearly three weeks and didn't seem to do a lot...I guess this could just be another reason why I should really upgrade to a Mac. If I only had the dough!! I am also waiting for them to finish shipping my digital camera back to me...Come on guys!!

On Wednesday I went to the Smoking Cocktail LGBT Media Mixer. This specific mixer happens every third Wednesday of the month and it really is great way to meet new people. The mixer used to be held at the Standard off Sunset, but has since moved to OBAR off Santa Monica Blvd.

When I approached JD, our host for the evening, she immediately introduced me to Jason Stuart (Who seriously has been in everything...check out his IMDB page.) Chad Darnell and some other guy whose name I cannot remember at the moment. We will just call him "Cute almost 30 guy."

JD told them about our experience in Fresno, and how she was impressed with the fact I didn't immediately jump Simon's bones hoping that we would make a love connection based on the fact that we had sex one time and then spend the rest of the weekend wondering why he wouldn't call back. This is something that occurs somewhat frequently with a few gay guys I have known through the years. If you find yourself in a similar situation, you immediately slept with someone and are now wondering why he wont return your calls, let me make life easier for you...HE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU OR YOUR LOOSE MANHOLE!!

So JD basically tells these boys that one night stands are just not my thing and that my legs are so tightly bound together that I could replace the concrete at the Hoover Damn and not spill a drop.

"Great," I thought, "Now they all think I am a prude and suddenly people will be calling me Puritan, Cobwebs, or Mary. Hey, I'm no prude, but let's just say that somewhere down the line I must have been abducted by alien beings who had my knees surgically altered. The best I can tell they "enhanced" them by installing super strong magnets...Many have tried to disrupt the strong electromagnetic force causing me to spread em, but it just ain't happening...It's a serious condition, one for which I think I deserve a handicapped placard so I can get all the best parking places in town...preferably the ones in the rear???

Elementals - A Brief Synopsis

2008-10-06T13:30:00.001-07:00

Now that my first script is finally registered I can feel free to talk about it all I want to!!! Here is a brief synopsis just to get you hooked.

"Elementals"
(Working Title)
By Michael Coulombe and Daniel Frank

"Elementals" takes place in present day Chicago. Kinetic Labs, a powerful and corrupt chemical manufacturing plant, sits nearby keeping an ever watchful eye on the citizens of Chicago.

Greg Kucowski, Tristan Bloom, Parker Howell, and Bryce Mackenzie met while growing up in a Chicago foster home. Life before entering foster care was no walk in the park. Each of them harbored a similar secret that not only put those closest to them in danger, but also kept them constantly on the run from those who meant them harm.

The foster home they each lived in acted as a sanctuary providing stability and safety. No longer being chased and no longer having to run from their unknown assailants, they all bonded and became family; confiding in each other their deepest secret. Upon exiting foster care they pursue various careers; however, are able to remain close to each other. No longer residing in the safety of their foster home, living a normal life becomes a struggle...Normal is so hetero!

Little do they know how connected they are to Kinetic Labs and vice versa...Sometimes the best hiding place is right under your nose.

Two Scripts and an Audition

2008-10-03T13:22:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update on some of the things I am currently working on.

1. Recently I have completed work on rough drafts for two different scripts! Both are in need of editing and revising at the moment.

The first is a short film about self discovery, which I hope to have completed as soon as I get my own computer back. For the last week I have been borrowing computers to check e-mails and such since my hard drive decided it was time to crap out on me.

The second is a collabortive project with my friend Michael Coulombe. It's a full length film that I am very excited about!! Michael and I will be meeting on Saturday night to compare our notes and make some revisions. I am really proud to be apart of this project and anticipate big things will come from it!

Keep your eyes open for updates regarding these two projects!!

2. I have an audition on Saturday evening in LA!

I normally wouldn't announce an audition unless I get a call back or the role; however, this audition is slightly different from the rest that I have gone on. The audition is for a Film Noir piece set in 1947 LA. While I am extremely excited for the opportunity to be seen for this film, I am a little nervous about this audition as the role I believe I am being concidered for will require me to play it straight. Let's face it, those of you who have met me can attest, butch just aint my thing.

Offically an Actor??

2008-09-29T21:17:00.001-07:00

Good news and bad news...Which do you want first? Well too bad this blog isn't interactive or you would actually get a choice in the matter; tuff shit!

Good News:

For shits and giggles (not literally) I decided to chech out IMDB.com (Internet Movie Database) to see if Neurotica, my first on film acting gig here in Hollywood, had been posted on it's website. IT WAS!!! So I guess that kind of makes it offical that I am now an actor???

Bad News:

When I clicked on my name to go to my own personal IMDB page it not only included a film that I was not involved in, but it also said that my "Star meter" is down by 33% from last week!!! What hell did I do? Did I make a fool of myself one drunken night and let the paparazzi take a picture of my Britney??? No...maybe it's because I didn't let them take a picture of my Britney...yeah I bet that's it.

The other film I apparantly acted in was called Tout pour l'oseille. It's obviously French; Apparently I filmed it in or around 2004 during one of my many drunken escapades where I illegally (because I do not have a passport) travel to different countries and shoot films. Unfortunately, my character does not have a name...I must have been so wasted because I don't remember the experience at all. Hopefully I met some cool people and got laid while shooting in France. No worries, I am sure I had a great trip and brought you back something French. (If you know what movie that last line references, I am your friend forever!!)

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1591829/

Always,

Hollywood Nobody

Lady Gaga

2008-09-29T20:51:00.000-07:00

I have officially reserved a seat on Lady Gaga's disco stick...you should too!!

Love Games Fan Video

Just Dance Music Video

Lady Gaga's CD will be released October 28th!!

"Between Love and Goodbye"

2008-09-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

Between Love and Goodbye is one of the multiple films I saw last weekend during Fresno's Reel Pride Film Festival. The film was written and directed by Casper Andreas, (Slutty Summer, A Four Letter Word) and stars Simon Miller, Justin Tensen, Rob Harmon, and Jane Elliott.

While at the film festival I got the chance to meet the cast as well as Directer, Casper Andreas. I really enjoyed meeting and talking with each of them. Please read previous entry for my review of the entire weekend. Now, back to my review...

Here is the synopsis from the films website.

www.lovegoodbye.com

Love makes the world go round. At least that’s what Marcel and Kyle believe, until they suddenly discover that love can alternatively flip the world upside-down. When certain elements are set into motion, they tend to stay in motion. If tampered with, they can spin out of control.

Marcel and Kyle are in love at first sight, and even though they can’t legally marry, they will find a way to make it work. French Marcel marries their lesbian friend Sarah so he can stay in the USA with Kyle...

Love isn’t pure after it’s been tainted. Our perfect couple falls headlong into possessiveness, jealousy and rage; trapped in the tangled emotions found in that space between love and goodbye. Just how far will one of them go to put a stop to the madness?

Direction, story and performances by its sexy cast, Harmon, Elliott, and Miller, combined to create an amazing film with a catchy soundtrack preformed by the cast of the film. A CD of the soundtrack is in works to be released, which might be unfortunate for those riding in my car, as I cannot get it's self titled song out of my head.

Unfortunately, I only caught the last half of this film. Without giving too much away, the ending of this film gave me chills, which rarely happens. If "Between Love and Goodbye" is playing near you, I highly recommend going to see it. If it is not playing near you, I would suggest adding it to your Netflix queue, or better yet your personal video library when it is released on DVD.

"Between Love and Goodbye" Trailer

Fresno Reel Pride 2008

2008-09-26T11:02:00.000-07:00

I left for Fresno a week ago, so I apologize for not posting something earlier in the week; unfortunately this has been a really busy one for me.

I arrived in Fresno around 6:25 pm last week. Jorge and I decided we wanted to go to the hotel first so we could check in. We were staying at the luxurious Holiday Inn Airport. By the way who knew that the Fresno Airport was an International Airport??? Not me... The hotel was undergoing some major construction and the front of the building was boarded up as a result. For a moment I thought our hotel had closed down and now we were S.O.L on a place to stay.

The hotel actually was open. While they could not move Jorge and I to a poolside room, our standard hotel room did have a special VIP touch to it. The event organizers arranged for a bottle of sparkling wine to be placed in our room. After some of the other cast mates checked in, I noticed that they did not have champagne in their room...Apparently someone (ME!!) is a bigger VIP.

After Jorge and I checked into our hotel room we headed to the Tower District because I
REALLY wanted to catch the film, "Between Love and Goodbye." Honestly I knew absolutely nothing about this film, but thought the title was intriguing.

We checked into the festival and received our VIP badges. They were labeled "Star" to indicate that we were actors in one of the films at the festival. The the upper corner of these badges were numbers...Mine was 007! Obviously they knew I was someone special, which is why they gave me such an awesome number.

After we were checked in, our VIP Coordinator, Drew, greeted us and brought us to the theater that JD, the producer of my film was at. Fortunately it also happened to be the theater that was playing "Between Love and Goodbye." After the paparazzi was done snapping photos of us, we went inside the theater and caught the last half of the film. Even though I only caught the last half of the film, I would have to say it was on of my favorites from the festival. I will review the film later; however, if you notice it is playing at a theater of film festival near you, GO SEE IT.

Jorge and I changed our clothes after the film was over and heading out on the town. The first stop was the Girl Party, which had all but closed when we got there. Then we went to The Den for the boy party. With a name like The Dean, I should have known what to expect; however the Leather Daddies whipping Hispanic Drag Queens and the "Crack" shots left me stunned. There were a few moments where I literally thought I was going to become ill. Thankfully Drew ran inside to save us.

From there we went to The Million Elephant where Jorge and I were semi ditched. I say we were Semi ditched because while we would have gone out to the other bar, Deja Vu, we were both tired enough to go back to the hotel for sleep. I also thought it was funny that a bunch of boys were going to a heterosexual strip joint. (Deja Vu, is apparently a chain nightclub. The one in Minneapolis is a straight strip joint that I believe is not very homo friendly, but I could be wrong.) Apparently the boys that did go to the Vu had an amazing time.

The next day the other boys in my cast showed up and Jorge and I saw a bunch of films. We saw Clapham Junction and Newcastle that day. After Newcastle we went to the filmmakers party. The topic of conversation for that evening was about a guy I met the previous night. His name is Simon; he is the lead actor in "Between Love and Goodbye."

Simon had given me his cell number the day before and was going to hang out with us that evening. According to a few people he hadn't been expressing an interest in anyone but myself so they all kept telling me to "seal the deal." For those of you that know me, you know one night stands are not my cup of tea, but I definitely was thinking about making an exception. Long story short, I didn't "seal the deal" for various reasons, and naturally, Simon's interest faded.

After the party we went to Deja Vu, where many of my cast mates seemed to pair off with other bar patrons. There was a lot of drinking and a lot of dancing; ultimately that night, I think the only person who did anything was Brian and all they did was kiss. The next day we all were paying of the previous evenings activities; however, brunch was available for a little hair of the dog.

That day was also the day that we screened our film, "Neurotica." The screening went alright, most people laughed at Jorge's lines (Deservingly so). The afternoon was spent at the Marriott pool, and the evening at the Tower Theater for closing ceramony. The party seemed fun, but I didn't feel good, was tired, and there was drama brewing, which always signifys the end of the vacation. I decided to go back to the hotel and get some sleep before the long drive home.

Overall that weekend in Fresno was amazing. The people there were so friendly and welcoming. I had a great time and met some incredible people that I hope to keep in contact with. I really do wish that the Fresno Reel Pride was this weekend. Of course hindsight is 20/20 and that could be why I wish the festival was this weekend. There are definitely a few things I would do differently.

**Photos were taken by event photographers and The Smoking Cocktail**

Actor Todd Hunter and Producer JD Disalvatore

Todd and JD with The Lair's Brian Nolan.

Brunch with The Men of Neurotica.

Drew Wilhite, Simon Miller, and Casper Andreas

Fresno Reel Pride

2008-09-18T12:25:00.000-07:00

This weekend I am heading up to Fresno for some VIP treatment with JD Disalvatore and some of the hotties I shot Neurotica with.

Picture Curtesy of The Smoking Cocktail

So definitely make sure you check back as I will posting a review, pictures, and possibly my first VLOG of all the naughtyness that will, no doubt, be occurring on the trip.

Here, Here! Monthly Mixer

2008-09-08T22:58:00.000-07:00

On Saturday night, Michael and I went to West Hollywood hot spot, Here lounge for the Here, Here! monthly mixer. The event is an opportunity for LGBT entertainment professionals to network with each other...seems like everyone is jumping on the LGBT entertainment mixers, which in my opinion were started by film producer JD Disalvatore and event producer, Elliot London.

The event itself was a lot of fun, giving Michael and I the chance to catch up with each other as well as some of our friends from Neurotica; however the event seemed a lot more like a party for Here Networks fall line up. The Here network is similar to HBO in that you must subscribe, they feature original series and films all geared toward and LGBT audiance. Here's big hits include: Dante's Cove, The Lair, and The DL Chronicles.

Michael and I spent the moajority of the night walking around talking about our project, how bitchy I am, and getting checked out by random hotties that never talked to us. The evening featured complimentary vodka drinks, which Michael took advantage of as I was the driver for the evening. Michael doesn't really drink a lot so needless to say after three cape cods he was a little tipsy.

After Michael's drinks, my numerous diet cokes, and saying hello to our friends Brian and Elliot, Michael and I went in search of other people to network with. At one point in the evening Brian's roommate, Peter, was walking towards us. I was pretty sure he had looked over and made eye contact so I said, "Hey what's up?" Peter continued walking stopped nearby all the while looking past us, turned around and left without saying a word.

"Ooh that sounds exciting," was my reply. If you are reading this Peter, no worries about snubbing me at the party, it was incredibly loud there and you probably didn't hear me, but thanks for providing me the Hollywood Nobody moment of the evening!

Shortly after Michael and I decided it was time to go and that we would go to the wrap party for a film he just finished doing "scripty" work for. As we left Here Lounge we decided to take a short cut through West Hollywood park, where I quickly deciphered the erotic codes involved in cruising the park.

If you are sitting on the bench on the far side of the park, directly across from the park office, you are looking for elderly action; doesn't matter what your age is as long as your partner for the evening is a card carrying member of AARP. If you are sitting at any of the picnic tables, you are looking for a little group action. For some three's a crowd, but for you it's just getting the party started...The more the marrier right??? If you are in any of the sand boxes in the park, you are probably not looking for a quick sexual hook up...not yet anyway. You are; however, probably there looking to score a little blow.

Hope that helps any of you possible cruisers out there or those who, like me, would rather avoid any misunderstandings while strolling through the park late at night. If you are in the park looking for a quick score, just remember to protect yourselves by using either a condom or a full roll of plastic wrap. Now that my PSA is over, lets get back to Saturday night.

We arrived the wrap party, which was at a beautiful home in the Hollywood Hills. I don't actually remember the name of the movie, but the people involved in the film were incredibly nice and welcoming; boy did they LOVE them some Michael...In fact there were multiple supposedly straight cast members that seemed smitten and completley comfortable "flamming" themselves up a bit with Michael.

Unfortunately our time at the wrap party was to be short lived and Michael and I needed to head out for the evening. I felt bad for ripping Michael apart from all his admirers, luckily Michael was having such a good time, he got one of our mutual friends, Erin, to agree to take him home in the morning. This wrap party ended like so many of the others I have been to, with people hooking up. I took that as my cue, and so I made my home from another evening in West Hollwood alone with a bunch of fun stories to share.

Affinity

2008-09-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

Affinity film review

SPOILER WARNING!!!

Do not read this entire review if you plan on reading or watching Affinity. I highly recommend watching the film Affinity; however am 99% percent sure that the novel is a hundred times better than the film. If you are planning on reading or watching Affinty, please stop reading this review now.

I actually watched Affinity awhile ago on Logo. Affinity is based off a novel written by Sarah Waters. (Tripping the Velvet and Fingersmith) Affinity is about an affluent woman who visits a local prison in order to be a positive influence on it's female prisoners. During her visits she meets, befriends, and eventually falls in love with one of the prisoners, Selina, who claims to be a spirit medium that was framed by one of her spirits.

The film was shot beautifully and I enjoyed watching the entire film; however I felt the ending was a tad disappointing. When the film started I was skeptical about Selina's abilities; however as the film progressed I found myself being drawn into the possibility that Selina's abilities were a reality only to find out, at the end of the film, that Selina had simply been a clever con artist.

Shortbus

2008-08-22T23:03:00.000-07:00

Today I am reviewing the film Shortbus. Shortbus was written and directed by John Cameron Mitchell and follows a group of New Yorkers who are all patrons of Shortbus. Shortbus is a bohemian salon that combines art, music, politics, and sex.

I remember years ago, while I was living in Minnesota hearing something about an artsy film that shot it's characters performing real sex acts. It wasn't until the movie started that I realized that this was that film. I found it interesting that the controversy surrounding this film and one of it's stars, Sook-Yin Lee, found its way to the Midwest.

For those of you that do not know; Sook-Yin Lee had found fame in Canada on a television show. When the producers of that television show found out Sook-Yin Lee was going to be a part of a project where she would have sex and masturbate on camera, she faced a tough decision. Participate in Shortbus and loose her job on Canadian Television, or drop out of the project; enter Hollywood. Many Hollywood big wigs and A-Listers wrote letters supporting Sook-Yin Lee's decision to participate in the project and ultimately she did not loose her job on Canadian television. Aparently they argued that the film was a form of artistic expression and that it would be unwise for them to punish her for that.

Also staring in Shortbus are: Paul Lawson (James), PJ DeBoy (Jamie), Lindsay Beamish (Severin) Raphael Barker (Rob), Peter Stickles (Caleb), Jay Brannan (Ceth), and many many more!

I found the process of creating the film very interesting. They apparently started with casting

after the casting they had workshops with the actors where they created their characters and

then the story was created around them. While I see the logic of creating this particular film

that way, it also created problems with them; many actors dropped out of the project

throughout development. Perhaps the actors that were involved in the project till completion

are simply excellent actors, or perhaps they were so good because their roles were created

for them; however, one thing remains constant... I felt that the acting was AMAZING!!

While there were real sex acts being performed in this film, I would not call this film pornographic as the sex was not the main point of this film. Sex was simply used as a tool to tell the story. After watching Shortbus I was not sure what to think or feel about it. That uncertainty caused me to ponder different aspects of the film that did stick out to me.

After careful consideration I would have to say that my confusion about the film may have been the point of it all. Like many of Shortbus's characters I was uncertain of how I felt. The film takes place post 9/11 during a time where American's across the country were asking questions because they were unsure of what truth was. "Why are we really in Iraq? Was there an alternative motive involved for invading the country?"

I would say that the underlying point to this film was that after 9/11 people were not entirely sure what to feel or think. Shortbus offered an atmosphere where anything was acceptable; people were able to explore what they felt, how they should feel, and who they were. I believe that the sex was a tool in the film for people to discover who they are and to feel something; anything...

Smoking Cocktail And A Flawless Mixer

2008-08-21T12:32:00.000-07:00

Last night I headed up to Hollywood for a few parties I was invited to. The first party I went to was The Smoking Cocktail Media Mixer; the second was Flawless at ONE Sunset.

The drive up to Hollywood from Anaheim Hills was pretty uneventful until I got into Downtown LA. I was trying to change the track on my radio when suddenly I saw something white hit my car with a thudding noise. "Oh shit," I thought, "I just killed a bird." I was a little sad about the possible loss of a feathered being. Don't they usually fly out of the way of cars? After a few seconds, though, I started to smell greasy food (Hamburger and Fries??) thats when I realized that it was not a sea gull that I had hit with my car, it was someone's White Castle!! If that shit isn't good enough for you to eat, it certainly is not good enough for my car to hit!

I finally arrived at Hollywood's O Bar, where the media mixer is held every month. After making my way to the bar for a diet coke (I was driving...again) I went out to say hello to the evenings host, where we briefly talked about our trip to Fresno next month with "Neurotica." This months mixer was packed with people. Many of whom I did not recognize, but let's be honest... That really doesn't mean anything!

I met a few interesting people at the mixer that kept me busy talking to people. One was John, whom I met last month, the other was a wonderful lesbian whose name I unfortunately do not remember at the moment. Unfortunately the constant conversations kept me from meeting a mysterious blonde hottie in a blue shirt who appeared to be checking me out.

I also met an old co-workers brother at the bar. I recognized him almost immediately as her facebook is littered with pictures of him; there is also a family resemblance between them. I think he was really just there for some food and a drink, as he didn't know what the big event was with the name tags. From talking to my old co-worker I knew that her brother lives somewhere near WeHo, but I never really thought I would run into him at a bar. Just goes to show that the world really is a small place.

Shortly after, I left O Bar and headed to ONE Sunset for Flawless. When I arrived at

One Sunset, I was immediately impressed by it's location; right in the heart of the sunset strip. The atmosphere inside the restaurant was beautiful. This is definitely a bar I plan on revisiting. When I entered the bar, I was a little surprised that there were not that many people there; however what party really gets started before 10:30. After saying hello to my friend, Elliot, who was promoting the club that night, I got another diet coke. I should really give them some advertising space on this blog since I am constantly drinking their product.

My friend Michael was supposed to meet me at the club after he got off work, but the film he is working on went over on their time. A lot of his projects seem to be doing that lately. Michael ended up not being able to come out to the party. That also severely limited the number of people that I knew inside the bar. That would have been the perfect opportunity for me to meet new people; however, I had to leave shortly after as I had a meeting early in the morning and a long drive home. Unfortunately for me, as I was leaving, the party was just getting started as more and more people entered the bar. I did have a great time while I was at Flawless and plan on attending again at next months event!

At one point, before I left, there was a celebrity that entered the bar. I recognized him as I recently rented a film he was in from Netflix. Throughout the night there were multiple times that my phone was going off as I was in both of the bars. Earlier in the evening I had set my phone to vibrate and put it in my front pocket so I would know when it was going off. Unfortunately the previously mentioned celebrity had just made possible flirtatious eye contact with me seconds before I received a text message. The sudden vibration in my pocket surprised me and causing my face to contort as I quickly reached into my pocket. As I looked back up in the direction of my celebrity on looker, he had already turned his back.

Great!! Such is the life of a Hollywood Nobody!

Big Eden and Jeffrey

2008-08-18T20:26:00.000-07:00

Today I watched two films that were suggested to me by my friend Michael.

The first was big Eden, which is about a New York City artist from a small town. Arye Gross plays Henry Hart, the artist, who travels home when his Grandfather and only living relative has suffered a stroke. While staying with his Grandfather, Henry discovers that his childhood friend, Dean Stewart (Tim DeKay) has also returned home with his two children. As the story progresses Henry's old feelings for Dean are brought back to the surface. Things get complicated as Henry and Dean realize that the relationship they both want to happen simply cannot. Not to worry, the story still has a happy ending as Pike Dexter (Eric Shweig), the owner of the local general store has been harboring secret feelings for Henry, which he expresses through his healthy and tasty meals, which he has been delivering to Henry and his Grandfather.

I thought this story was touching and I enjoyed watching it; however, I feel they could have resolved a conflict between Dean and Henry. There is a scene in the film where Dean simply states that he cannot, but it wasn't ever really clear why. We do know that Dean is straight, which definitely complicates any possible romantic relationship. We also know that Dean definitely is interested in trying to have a romantic relationship with Henry as he tries to kiss him multiple times. Perhaps they are having as difficult a time as I am explaining this. While Dean loves Henry, the love he has for him is on a much deeper level. He wants to be everything that Henry wants and would like to have the intimate relationship; however at the same time he knows that he cannot be everything that Henry has been searching for because of his sexuality.

Jeffrey is about a gay man, Jeffrey (Steven Weber: Wings), living in New York who really likes to have sex. He describes sex, as many of us would, as a gift from god. Jeffrey's problem is that the AIDS epidemic has just reached scare level 10. What I mean is that the AIDS virus was still not fully understood; there were a lot of misconceptions, misinformation, and the treatments were not as advanced as they are today. That said, many people in the film were frightened about having sex and contracting the virus, Jeffrey included. Fear is what makes him decided to become celibate; soon after he meets Steve (Michael T Weiss: JAG), a HIV positive man. The rest of the show is a mega celeb cameo fest where Jeffrey lets his fear paralyze him from living his life and allowing himself to fall in love with Steve, let alone anyone. Patrick Stewart did an amazing job in his role as Sterling, a "fopish" interior designer. I would recommend Jeffery to anyone interested in seeing a cute gay romantic comedy

As of yet, the films I have viewed and reviewed have featured gay men in the lead roles, not to worry my lesbian sisters, I promise that I will be reviewing a lesbian films shortly.

Beautiful Thing

2008-08-13T11:10:00.000-07:00

Beautiful thing was originally a play written by Jonathan Harvey, which he later adapted into a film screen play. Released in 1996, Beautiful Thing is set in a working class London suburb. All the characters are neighbors in a large flat (apartment) community with thin walls where no ones business is private.

The film follows the relationship of Ste (the popular jock, physically abused by his father and older bother) and Jamie (the nerdy recluse, verbally abused by classmates and argumentative with his mother) One night after Ste is abused he spends the night at Jamie's home where they discover a deeper relationship. The remainder of the film shows each boys journey of self discovery and acceptance with their sexuality as well as the importance and meaning of their relationship.

If you do not like British Cinema or watching scenes multiple times to ensure you understood the actors correctly, this film may not be for you; however this film has wonderfully honest writing, directing, and acting; it truly is Beautiful Thing. (insert joke about cliché's)

Latter Days Film Review

2008-08-12T19:59:00.001-07:00

"Latter Days" is a film Written and Directed by C. Jay Cox who also has written the screen play for "Sweet Home Alabama" and recently Directed and Produced "Kiss the Bride." Latter Days is set in Los Angeles and is about a gay "pretty boy" who falls in love with a Mormon missionary that lives nearby. I had heard of this film before, but had never seen it, so I was quick to record it when I saw it would be on LOGO.

Unfortunately there was a malfunction with my digital video recorder and I was suddenly thrust sixteen minuets into the movie. Fortunately, I hadn't missed much and was able to quickly catch up on what was going on. The relationship between the two men originally starts when Christian (Wes Ramsey: Charmed) bets his roommate that he can convert one of the missionaries for $50.

After this point I could see that the story would be ridiculously similar to a gay She's All That and various other teen dramadies. Sure enough, through his interactions with the young Mormon boys, he discovers that one of them, Aaron (Steve Sandvoss: Rumor Has It, Kiss the Bride) is actually a closeted gay man and they eventually start a relationship.

The story is pretty predictable from this point. Here are the story progressions I was expecting; boy meets boy, boy falls for boy, boy looses boy, boy gets boy back and they live happily ever after. However, the cleaver writer threw in a nice plot twist which not only left me shocked and saddened, but took the movie from blah and predictable, to a touching romantic story. For those of you that might actually see this movie based on my review, I will not ruin it for you.

I was originally going to include a review of the actor's performances. While they did

a wonderful job, and the film would not have been the same with different actors, I believe the strength of this film was in its writing. There is an over arching idea in the film, that, as far as I saw, was introduced nearly half way through the film.

Aaron is sitting on a bench in front of a hospital consoling a woman who has recently pulled the plug on a loved ones life support. To comfort the woman he tells her about when he was a kid and he read the comics in the newspaper. He said that he used to put his face directly on the page and they appeared to him as a bunch of chaotic dots; we all know that if he were to pull his face away he would see the bigger picture. Aaron continues by saying that life is also a sequence of chaotic dots and events, but from God's perspective they are all connected, and it is beautiful, funny, and good.

The film itself does an amazing job incorporating this idea into the whole story. The film starts out with a bunch of chaotic dots, making the audience think it was a gay She's All That, but as the story progresses and the camera "pulls out" we see the real picture, the true story, and how everything is connected, and it is beautiful, and it is funny, and it is good.

Mamma Mia!

2008-08-09T12:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I finally made my way to a movie theater to see Mamma Mia! I truly believe that I am the last gay man on this planet to see this movie. In fact I believe that there are unborn gay fetuses and gay life on other planets that saw this movie before I did!

I did enjoy the film and plan on making it a part of my video library; however I do agree with some of the comments I have heard other people make regarding the three possible fathers; I also felt that hearing these men sing was a little awkward, specifically Pierce Brosnon. I do understand, though, that these men are not singers, they are wonderfully entertaining actors.

The popularity of the musical and now the film is really a testiment to the music of ABBA. The popularity of their music has certainly crossed over generations. That fact was evident by the varying ages of the audience members. One negative aspect of ABBA's populatiry was that the woman sitting next to me would not stop singing or humming along with the characters on the screen! Unfortunately, I think the only way I could have avoided the sing along would have been if I waited for the film to be released on DVD; who wants to wait that long?!?!?!

LGBT Film List in my Netflix Queue

2008-08-08T13:27:00.000-07:00

1. Beautiful Thing

2. Girls Will Be Girls

3. Edge of Seventeen

4. Itty Bitty Titty Committee (Available Spet 2)

5. Tick Tock Lullaby

6. Poster Boy

7. Angel's In America

8. Naked Boy's Singing

9. A Four Letter Word (Not yet released)

10. 2 Minutes Later

11. Shortbus

Do you have any other films that I should add? NETFLIX has over 700 LGBT titles, so I am 100% sure there are many more. I will not put limitations on your suggestions; television series are welcome as well, but may not be reviewed as frequently.

Ideas for new segments!!

2008-08-08T12:37:00.000-07:00

Recently I have decided to add a few things to my humble blog, Hollywood Nobody.

The first segment I would like to add is a review of LGBT Movies, which technically has already started with my reviews of Curiosity of Chance, Mulligans, and Another Gay Sequel; Gays Gone Wild. I recently signed up for Netflix to make this task much easier so if you have any LGBT films that you recommend or have worked on yourself, please let me know in the comments section so I can add them to my "que" ASAP.

The second segment is still being developed, so I cannot give you a lot of details, but I can tell you it will be a video segment called Happy Talk. I will give you more details after I worked them out!

Another Gay Sequel - OUTFEST 08

2008-07-30T12:52:00.000-07:00

Ok kids, here it is. My final post regarding OUTFEST! OUTFEST has technically been over for over a week now and most OUTFEST bloggers have already finished their OUTFEST entries so I apologize for the delay.

On Saturday July 19, 2008 Johnny and I went to the DGA to see Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild. As the title suggests this movie is the sequel to Another Gay Movie; both of which were written and directed by Todd Stephens who also directed Gypsy 83 and Edge of Seventeen.

Another Gay Movie tells the story of four High School friends (Andy, Jarod, Griff, and Nico) in their journey to loose their anal virginity before they go to college. Hilarity ensues in this gay parody as they get themselves into sticky situations; no pun intended.

Another Gay Sequel follows the same group of friends on their Spring Break in Fort Lauderdale. This time the foursome enter a competition with multiple other spring breakers called Gays Gone Wild. The point of the competition is to see who can have the most sex during spring break. Once again, the four friends find themselves in awkward, raunchy situations along the way.

Due to some industry drama, three of the four friends look slightly different in the sequel than they did in the first installment. Here are photos of each character in a segment I will call Cherry (Another Gay Movie) and Cherry Popped (Another Gay Sequel)

Andy Wilson

Michael Carbonaro VS Jake Mosser

Both did a great job in the role as Andy and both will have promising careers ahead of them; however, I do have to say that I prefer Michael as Andy. I guess it was just odd to imagine another actor playing that role.

Jarod

Jonathan Chase VS Jimmy Clabots

Both boys did an excellent job playing Jarod. Both are equally attractive; however, if someone was holding my dog hostage, telling me I had to chose one or my puppy would be killed I would choose Jimmy because I found the relationship between Jarod and Griff more believable in the sequel.

Griff

Mitch Morris VS Aaron Michael Davies

Let's start by saying the I could not find a decent picture of Mitch that resemled his portayal of "Horse Hung Griff," so this not what his character looked like. Mitch and Aaron did an amazing job at the role of Griff. I really could not choose one over the other. I will add that I LOVE "dorky" men so both of these guys, in my opinion, are hot!

The movie itself was hilarious! There was a lot of product placement throughout the film, which I could have done without; however, I do understand that it helped get the movie made. I also feel that they handled it in a way that was humorous, which made it's presence more acceptable.

When Johnny and I got to the DGA we were rewarded with the very last parking spot in their adjacent structure. We also got one of the best parking spots, near the front; what some would call rock star parking.

Before entering the building we went to The Coffee Bean, which was directly across the street. As we made our way back towards the DGA I ran into JD Disalvatore who produced the my first film, Neurotica. A few seconds later we ran into my friend Brian Nolan who was with Peter Stickles and David Moretti, his cast mates from Here Network's, The Lair. After briefly catching up with them, Johnny and I headed inside where we saw a gay bottle of vodka and decided it was time for a few photos. Little did I know the flash had been shut off on my camera.

After these photos were taken, we got into the ridiculously long line to see this film. If you have ever been to one of the more anticipated OUTFEST films you know how long that line can be. Next year it would be nice if I could afford an OUTpass. An OUTpass grants you first access to seats without the hassle of buying a ticket. You just show up, flash em your pass, and go in.

After a little while our measly general admission line began to move. As Johnny and I approached the entrance to the building, there were whispers that there might not be enough seats. Luckily, Johnny and I were allowed to enter the theater and even found seats in the third row! Tonight was definitely making me feel lucky.

After the movie screened we stuck around for the Q & A session where they bring the cast up on the stage. As usual, everyone was a little shy to ask the first question. Suddenly from the farthest reaches of the theater one brave soul raised his hand for the first question, "Were there any on set hook-ups?" Everyone clearly started to giggle at the question. Understandably no one from the cast seemed to want to give up any secrets, until Perez Hilton (who played himself) stood up and almost spilled the beans. Thank god he respected people's privacy enough. Had I been on set and hooked up with someone, I would not have been to happy with him for telling people. Loose lips sink ships, Perez.

After everything was done at the DGA, it was off to the after party at the Here Lounge.

Once again the place was packed forcing everyone to manuver around ass to crotch. I did manage to spot Brian Nolan as we entered, so we went to talk to him. We found out that not only did he and his friends not get into see the movie since they ran out of chairs, but that they also were able to receive a refund for their tickets! You know there would have been hell to pay had I been in that situation... I did find it slightly amusing that Brian and his friends, who are on some kind of a celebrity list, did not get into the movie, while I had rock star luck that evening...Well that is until I realized that they were allowed in the VIP areas at the after party while I was barely allowed to look inside.

The total night and the complete experience I had at OUTFEST was wonderful. I will definitely be going back for next years movies; hopefully I will be in at least one of them!

Mulligans at The Ford!

2008-07-28T11:35:00.000-07:00

After the festivities in Las Vegas I came back home to California with as much money as I went there with. Nice to know I broke even, and didn't loose my entire savings to "the city of sin."

Now that I was back in town I was able to work one day before going back to LA for a few more OUTFEST Films. The first of which was Mulligans, which was shown on Friday night at The Ford. The Ford was a great place to watch a movie as we watched the movie under the stars and were able to bring in food and beverage. Since I was the driver that night, I was unable to take part in the beverage; however, there is always next year.

Originally I was supposed to see the next two OUTFEST movies with my friend Michael;

however, Michael was working as a script supervisor on a film, and they changed his schedule around so he was now unable to attend. Luckily I was able to give Michael's tickets to my good friend Johnny.

I picked Johnny up at 5:30 on Friday and we did not arrive to the theater until around 7:30! I can't believe it took two hours to get there... Got to love California traffic!!

The movie Mulligans was fantastic. Everything about the movie was perfect, the setting, the acting, the direction, the story. I really loved this movie. The only thing I would have changed would have been the people sitting in front of me. While one of them was really cute, and did check me out throughout the night, the others were super annoying. They continually made snide comments throughout the film, such as, "This movie is so gay." They also seemed to enjoy laughing at moments in the film that were meant to be touching... During one of those moments the guy in front of me broke the back of his seat sending it crashing into my leg.

After the movie was over, Johnny informed me that my friends we had been sitting next to kept giving him more and more drinks throughout the film, and that he was going to need help getting down the stairs because he was already drunk. Since Johnny was already drunk, we decided it would be an excellent idea to continue onto the after party at Club 11. Here are some pictures taken at The Ford. If you look closely and squint your eyes you can see Johnny and I in the back row!!

Here I am with Jovy, who we sat next to at the screening. I am trying out a new look with the low cut v-neck... What do you think?

The after party was hosted by D.I.V.A (Diverse and Inclusive Visionary Artists) and it was PACKED!! When trying to walk around the place you could not help but accidently brush up against people's asses or crotches with your various body parts.

At one point, I was trying to walk past Reichen Lehmkhul so Johnny and I could find a place to dance . That night I had completely forgotten that I had not switched to my smaller phone, so I

was walking around with my big SideKick LX attached to my hip. As I saw an open place near where Reichen was standing I accidently brushed my crotchular area, SideKick attached, against one of his friends that had his back to me. As I passed by Reichen, I accidently brushed up against him as well.

When Johnny and I made our way to the open spot to dance I turned around and realized that Reichen's friend that I unintentionally butt raped with my SideKick was JP Calderone from Janice Dickinson's Modeling Agency. Some of you may know that I have had a bit of a celebrity crush on JP for a few years now. Needless to say, I was pretty embarrassed, but JP didn't seem to notice the unintentional violation.

Here is a photo commentary I made awhile ago featuring JP. It's about how people assume all gay people have super powers when it comes to fashion emergencies.

Johnny and I continued to dance and have fun at the after party. When we decided it was time to go, Johnny was past drunk... Good thing I was driving :-) After a quick trip to the bathroom, I gave my parking ticket to the valet and waiting for them to bring my car around. A few minutes later, they said that my car was on the corner waiting for me. This particular night, I had borrowed Lori's Prius. Lori is my Uncle's girlfriend.

Surprise!!! The car waiting on the corner for me was a cute BMW sport coupe! Perhaps this night I looked like I SHOULD be driving a BMW sport coupe and not a Toyota Prius or a Mazda 626. As much as I wanted to drive off in that car, I decided to be honest and let the valet know that they brought me the wrong car.

I was also borrowing Lori's car the next day, so before I left to see Another Gay Sequel, she told me that if valet wanted to give me an upgraded car that this time I should take it!! Perhaps the mistake at valet was an omen... a glimpse into the future if you will???

"Neurotica" The Click List 2009!!

2008-07-27T14:32:00.000-07:00

For the last month I have been sitting on some very exciting news regarding my first film project "Neurotica."

For those of you that do not know "Neurotica" is written and directed by Nick Wauters, the same mind that brought you "Ryan's Life," and takes place in a California Gay Bar.

"Neurotica" gives the audience a glimpse into what goes through people's minds as they interact with others in the bar...it's not pretty! The entire film is only 15 minutes and I play "The Tweaker Guy" (A tweaker is slang for drug user. My character prefers cocaine.)

Anyway the exciting news is that "Neurotica," has been picked up by cable television station LOGO and will appear on the 2009 season of "The Click List!" At this point I am not exactly sure what the date is, but I will let you know as more information becomes available. If you do not subscribe to LOGO, you can contact your cable TV provider to discuss how to do so, OR you can also watch "The Click List" on the internet at www.logoonline.com

Logo is a network created by MTV Networks and Viacom for the Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, and Transgender community. The Click List is one of LOGO's most watched series and is a competition of sorts. The viewers are asked to go online after viewing the shorts to vote for their favorite LGBT filmmakers. So look for more updates from me and remember to watch and vote for "Neurotica" on LOGO'S, "The Click List!"

An Audience with Divinity!!

2008-07-25T11:34:00.000-07:00

Gather round my fellow gays, fruit flies, and other LGBT supporters. Here is the entry you have all been waiting for, Bette Midler's The Showgirl Must Go On!!!

It's day two in Vegas for out Birthday party goers. The night before I went to bed around 4:00 am. I was the first to go to bed because I was so tired I could barely move! When I woke up at 6:00 am, I was surprised to see that my Sister was asleep in her bed, but my Mother was no where to be found!

After waiting an hour I sent her a text message asking where she was. She had not yet gone to bed and was still out on the town gambling! Long story short, she came back to the room at 8:30 when we all had a bit of breakfast and my Mom and Sister slept for awhile longer. While I waited for them to wake up, I walked around the hotel to pass time.

As I said, this is the day that we all went to see Bette Midler's new Las Vegas show, The Showgirl Must Go On! Unfortunately, we were unable to bring camera's into the venue at Caesar's Palace. Fortunately, the internet is as powerful as Bette's book of spells from Hocus Pocus granting me the ability to include some pictures and a video for your enjoyment.

Originally our seats were in the front row with backstage access and after show cocktails with Bette, but apparently those got lost or are not even offered. So as a consolation, they gave us seats towards the back. Apparently the people at Caesar's have absolutely no clue who I am!!! They will be hearing from my agent... If I had one.

Trying to decide what show to see while in Vegas is a difficult decision, everyone has a different idea of the perfect Vegas show. Some people want to see the comedians, some want to see a "cheesy" Vegas show, some just want to see amazing performances, and others want to see legendary performers.

My Mother wanted to see LOVE, my Sister said she didn't really care, and of course I wanted to see Bette Midler, but was concerned that no one else would want to see the show, or that the tickets were too expensive.

I don't really have a lot to say about Bette's show in Vegas other than that it was absolutely amazing; by far the best concert I have been to, her performance incorporated everything that each of us wanted to see. You want comedy? Bette performs jokes as her alter ego, Soph, a 92 year old Las Vegas showgirl with a mouth desperately in need of Orbitz gum. You want a "cheesy" (not really cheesy, just stereotypical) Las Vegas show? No problem, Bette's performance includes 18 dancers whom she affectionately refers to as The Caesar Salad Girls. If it's an amazing or legendary performance you are looking for; HELLO IT'S BETTE MIDLER!!!!

I felt that this was on of Soph's better jokes, "I'll never forget it cha know; my boyfriend Ernie said to me, Soph, if you could learn to cook, we could fire the chef. I said, Ernie, If you could learn to FUCK, we could fire the chauffer!"

While our seats were in what could be called the "nose bleed" section, there truly are no bad seats in that theater... Unless you are as unfortunate as my Mother who ended up sitting behind a large man (Not necessarily fat, just large) who was clearly there because his wife told him he HAD to be. She probably would have withheld sex from the poor beast for a month had he not gone.

I Could tell he did not want to be at the show because not only did the guy keep moving throughout it, he also felt the need to become shikeh (Drunk) just to sit through it! Just to make myself clear, being drunk in Vegas at the Bette Midler show is not a terrible sin; however, every time my Mother was able to get a clear view of the show, the guy would shift in his seat obstructing her view once again. He could have at least gotten his back waxed so she didn't have to stare at that throughout the entire performance. It seriously looked like the guy was wearing a shmaltzy shtreime on his back!!

I found some more photos on the internet that I felt the need to share because Bette looks so amazing!

Below is a video I found on YouTube to give everyone a glimpse of the show. The video includes a small preview, some boring B reel of Ceasar's, and Celebrity interviews. Among the Celebrity interviews is NSYNC'S Lance Bass, with his long time secretive boyfriend Joey Fatone. As usual Lance just sits back and nods while a Legendary Gay Icon is being discussed by his heterosexual boyfriend who doesn't let him get a word in edgewise.

If you are going to Vegas and looking for a truly wonderful experience I highly suggest getting tickets to see Bette Midler: The Showgirl Must Go On! The tickets start at $95 and are well worth it. I know that she is currently taking a break so another gay icon (Elton John or Cher) can preform to their devotes, but I do believe that she will return in October.

I would hate to see what might happen if Bette finds out one of her Gays was floating around her new kingdom and did not stop by for an audiance with divinity!

52/25 in Vegas

2008-07-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

Update number two on my fabulous birthday celebration. This entry finds our party goers in Las Vegas, city of neon lights, dancing girls (and boys), and quickie weddings. A place where dreams of hitting it big are crushed as each dollar is mindlessly deposited into the millions of slot machines in every building. Now I have never seen inside of a Police Department in Las Vegas, but I would be willing to bet there are slot machines inside.

We arrived in Las Vegas on Monday July 14 and immediately went to the Flamingo Hotel to check into our room. I do not know a lot about the Las Vegas strip, but I did know that the Flamingo was not one of the hotels people constantly rave about while discussing Las Vegas. When we pulled up to the Flamingo, the outside was not much to talk about; however, when as we walked inside, I was pleasantly surprised to find a nice hotel and casino...It was no Bellagio, but it was a nice looking hotel.

While waiting in the check out line I spotted an extremely cute guy; upon further inspection I came to the conclusion that he was gay. Great, a good looking guy staying in my large hotel, in a city with a sea of different kinds of people. I was sure I would never see the mystery man or his female companions with the blow pop bouquette ever again.

Upon check in my Mother was able to get our room upgraded to the 28th floor. The room was a lot more spacious than I would have expected and had an amazing view. Later, when I slept in one of the queen beds, I realized that the bed was much more comfortable than the one I had at home... I miss that bed... The whole time I didn't even think of the likely gallons of seminal fluid on it's mattress and bed spread. Here is the view from our window.

After dropping off our stuff we put on our swimsuits and went to the pool. The major reason my Mother wanted to to stay at the Flamingo was because they had an amazing pool area. I thought it would have been more amazing had the pool been a little more deserted. I am not used to sharing my water with others :-)

After we finally found a spot we got a couple beers and began lounging around. It was not long until our lounging was interrupted. I have heard multiple times that Las Vegas does have many things for visitors under the age of 21; however I have never seen this side of Vegas. To me Vegas should be an Oasis for parents to escape from their children.

While we were at the pool area I noticed some peculiar behavior from an older woman. Shortly after I realized that this was no ordinary woman, she was a couger on the prowl!

How very "Wild Things."

After the pool it was out to do some gambling. Half way through the evening as we were strolling through Harra's someone called out to me. I turned around there was a group of girls standing behind me. One of them was holding a bouquette of blow pops. They asked me if I wanted to give the girl with the bouquette a dollar since she was getting married soon and that she would give me a blow pop. At this point I had consumed a few beverages, so I told her that I would if I could take it from her cleveage with my teeth... She agreed!

After I got my blow pop she started telling me about their gay friend that was staying with them. I played dumb, like I didn't already know about him or where they were staying. I found out after talking to them for a little bit that they were staying at the Flamingo, their friend is 23 years old and that they are from Iowa :-( As I headed back to my family the girls told me that they would be hanging out at the pool the following day.

exactly sure when these pictures were taken as there was the slightest bit of alcohol involved in this evening.

Quick note about the above photo, I was drunk, but not THAT drunk.

Look for my next entry featuring coverage of the Bette Midler Concert!!! In one word, it was Divine!

Outfest 2008 - Laugh All You Want

2008-07-22T14:27:00.000-07:00

On Sunday July 13, 2008 I attended the premiere for my first film, "Neurotica." "Neurotica" was playing at this years OUTFEST as part of the Laugh All You Want Program. The evening was interesting to say the least.

After dinner we made the long drive into the Hollywood area. My Mother had never been to Hollywood Boulevard, so I figured we would go to the Hollywood and Highland Shopping Center. After turning onto Hollywood Boulevard, my Mother took a few glances around and locked the car doors! Clearly, like everyone else, Hollywood Boulevard was not what she was expecting. She was so freaked out by the looks of the street that she didn't even want to get out and walk around.

After driving past Hollywood Boulevard, we made our way to the theater the movie was playing at. We decided to park at the Grove Shopping Center and to walk around before going to the movie. As we were entering the area, I realized I should find a bathroom and saw a Wood Ranch on the corner. Since I work at a different Wood Ranch, I figured it would be best to go there. My Mother decided that she would be too embarrassed to just walk in, use the bathroom, and leave. She and my sister decided to sit at the bar and have some wine.

When we finished the wine we went to the the theater where we met my Aunt and Cousins. As we were crossing the street there was this old drunk homeless guy screaming out that "Fags do it better....GO BACK TO SANTA MONICA!!" Ok weirdo.

At this time we were still around 3o minutes early, so we sat near the door talking to one of my cast mates and waiting for things to get started. As we sat there, the homeless guy across the street was still yelling something at us and walking into oncoming traffic. It was like he had a death wish. We were trying to make out what he was saying when we realized who the guy was...Well who he reminded us of anyway.

Burgess Meredith as The Penguin.

After awhile, most of the cast showed up and soon enough we were all in line for the show to begin. The films that were being screen during the Laugh All You Want Program were interesting. They pretty much had everything there; a planet full of unicorns, dancing kings, scheming queens, and a terrifying game of cards.

The most memorable of the short films we saw that day was Edith's Hot Vagina. Edith's Hot Vagina was like a talk show/how to program, which featured a German speaking elderly drag queen named Edith. The film had subtitles for those who did not speak German. The purpose of this episode was to inform on how to give a proper blow job. Everything about this film was a little odd, but tolerable...That is until the focus went from describing how to give the perfect blow job, to showing how to give the perfect blow job. We certainly did not see that one coming.

I would describe the movie as a train wreck or a bad accident on the side of the California Freeway. It's one of those things that you know you should not be watching but are having a hard time taking your eyes off of. While we did not want to see what she was doing we did want to see what she was saying.

Out of all the films that appeared that night, I would have to say that while Edith's Hot Vagina was the program I enjoyed the least, it certainly was the most memorable. I think that my whole family will continue to joke about how my cousin saw her first gay porn in front of her family. (Although I am sure that is untrue.)

Here is the fourth episode of Planet Unicorn, which was also shown during the Laugh All You Want Program. I really liked this series for it's random humor. Seriously, how did they come up with this idea?

Curious About Chance???

2008-07-20T19:15:00.000-07:00

So you were probably expecting another entry based of my crazy fun weekend; however, I found something even better to share with you all. Normally I do not put a lot of stock into what the Orange County Register's horoscopes say, but today's told me to go out and rent a few movies.

Being an OUT actor I felt it necessary to get at least one film that supports my profession and those that work so hard for me and others like me to have careers.

So I headed down to Blockbuster to see what they would have to offer. I know what you might be thinking. The chances of finding an LGBT film in Blockbuster should be like finding a needle in a haystack... Or perhaps a gaystack, depending on the film; however some maybe surprised to know that Blockbuster (The one near my house anyway) actually carries a decent stock of LGBT films. In the last year I have rented from them: Eating Out, Eating Out 2, Boy Culture, Dante's Cove Season 1, and Another Gay Movie.

Originally I was going to rent "Edge of Seventeen" or "Gypsy 83", both directed by the fabulous Todd Stephen's, both recommended recently on the highly popular LGBT website The Smoking Cocktail.com. While browsing I happened upon "The Curiosity of Chance," which I believe re-screened at this years OUTFEST. (Side note, while I have not yet seen "Edge of Seventeen" or "Gypsy 83" I do fully intend on renting them at some point... That is if Blockbuster carries them.)

"The Curiosity of Chance" was written and directed by Russell P. Marleau and is by far the best LGBT Film I have seen. The writing and direction provided by Marleau was stunning and the performances the cast delivered really assisted in creating a visual representation of his art. The film stars Tad Hilgenbrinck (American Pie Presents: Band Camp) as Chance Marquis

and Brett Chuckerman (Eating Out 2) as Levis Sparks.

The story is set in the 1980's "The decade fashion forgot"..." and follows Chance through his first year at a new school and the struggles he faced while trying to fit in.

If you are looking for an outstanding LGBT film or a sweet 80's retro movie, I definitely suggest that you check out "The Curiosity of Chance."

www.thecuriosityofchance.com

Quarterlife Crisis

2008-07-20T13:19:00.001-07:00

Wow, what a week this has been! As I wrote earlier, there was a lot of stuff going on these last few weeks. Let's start with the birthday festivities.

Many of you may know that I turned 25 on July 12. 10 days earlier, my mother turned 52, so you know we had to have a great party!

On the 12 my mother and sister flew into John Wayne in Orange county where I picked them up. As soon as they got settled it was off to New Port Beach to meet up with my cousin, Tim. The plan was to go on a walking bar tour, which is basically a pub crawl.

We started the night at Mutt Lynch's off the Beach. We wanted to start there so we could go in a circular pattern and because we like their snack foods. They also have massively large schooners of beer!!!

Here we are at Skarky's. Funny that I had never been there.

I believe this was the last place we stopped. Don't remember the name of it, but Tim and Katie are making fun of me because of a photo booth picture we all took earlier. This bar was a great place to stop at because for one dollar they had a breathalyzer machine. I wont tell you what we blew, but let's just say that I certainly was in no condition to drive.

After we had our fun at the beach we went to have dinner at my Aunt Mary's house. She had a very delicious meal and cake ready for us when we arrived. I always like going over there for visits and should probably do it more often. She has a great view over the Anaheim Hills Resevoir and on a clear day you can see the beach and Downtown LA.

OUTFEST Kick-off!!

2008-07-10T14:18:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday night I went to West Hollywood's Obar to attend DIVA'S Queerflix party, which is their kick off party for OUTFEST. At this party they were featuring certain films that DIVA'S members have worked on and showed their trailers, NEUROTICA being one of them.

At the party I hung out with my Neurotica crew mostly, but there were so many other films being featured there. Such as "Mulligans" (Playing at OUTFEST), and "Holding Trevor." (Now playing at Sunset 5)

Unfortunately, this party did not feature any funny or embarrassing moments for me, but I am sure that the next 10 days will be full of them.

Brent Gorski and Eli Kranski of "Holding Trevor"....That's some hot ski's (I know lame joke!)

The "Mulligan's" Crew...So excited to see this movie!

Nick Wauters and some of the cast of "Neurotica"

Michael, Jovy, and me!!

Hold on to Your Little Gay Hat!!

2008-07-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

Welcome to July everyone! I hope you all got your hands free blue tooth headsets as it is now against the law to talk on your phone while driving without one! Please remember though that dialing your phone and texting are still OK....Are you kidding me, people can still text and drive?!?

After July 20th, you can expect multiple new entries here on Hollywood Nobody as the next few weeks will be extremely busy for me. Here is a little preview of whats to come!

1. OUTFEST
Not only will I get the chance to see some amazing new movies made by and for the LGBT community, but I will also be attending the premiere of MY first movie, Neurotica. I am sure there will be lots of Hollywood Nobody Mayhem at each event I attend during that week. The other movies I am planning on seeing are:

Mulligans -

And Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild!
Sadly I could not find a trailer for this film, so instead I will post an interview my friend JD did with the sexy Jim Verraros. (American Idol, Eating Out 1 & 2)

However before I hit up those movies and their after parties, I will be catching the fastest jet that Southwest Airlines has in their massive arsenal of commercial, none first class , airplanes and high tailing it to Vegas Baby!!

2. Birthday Madness!!
You see in addition to this being the OUTFEST week, it is also the week of my birth! 25 years ago a small bundle of joy was brought into this world destined to entertain his tens of fans and he is going to celebrate that day in Vegas with his Mother and Sister.

This year is especially important to celebrate as it is really the last birthday I get to look forward to, and my Mother will have recently turned 52...So the celebration shall hence be known as 52/25!

Of course while in Vegas we will be doing the usual. Drinking, shopping, eating, more drinking, a little gambling, drinks, beautiful things, more drinks, etc... but we will also be hiking over to Ceasars Palace to see Bette Midler!

Hold onto your little gay hats, cause July is rock your world!!!!!

Not Allowed to Stand Up

2008-06-29T08:35:00.000-07:00

From time to time, I like to take a break from the normal Hollywood Nobody blog. I promise I will try to not do this frequently; however, there is an issue that I want to share with you all. Perhaps, after reading, you would be so kind as to provide feedback on this entry.
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Last night at work was pretty uneventful until the end of the night. Two young men approached the bar, thinking that they owned the world. You know the typical straight guy, talking to loud and with an air that everyone should not only pay attention, but also be interested in what he was saying. I saw through his bullshit right away.

After bellying-up to the bar he ordered for him and his friend two Kamikaze shots because apparently he really could not handle being a "real man" and having a "real man" shot. Anyway after they finished their shots, paid out and got ready to leave, two of their friends arrived. Upon the friends arrival the two men said to me, "Oh don't worry about serving these two; they're gay, literally." The two men said it in a mocking tone, so I am sure that they were just fucking around with their friends, but it really disturbed me that someone would say "Gay" and mean it in a derogative mannar right in front of me.

After both groups had returned to their table to enjoy the rest of their evening I pulled aside a manager and asked her if I could refuse to serve them if they approached the bar again. She told me that I could not. I also asked her if I would be able to say anything to them; such as,

"The last time you guys were up here you made a comment that I should not serve your friends because they were gay. I feel that you should really watch what you say because you never know who is listening. Someone here could have a gay family member or be gay themselves; that comment might have offended them."

I was also told I could not say that either and that if I did say something to the men that I could be pulled from the bar.

The two men did not return to the bar, which I am slightly thankful for, because it would have been incredibly difficult for me to keep my mouth shut. I really didn't understand why this manager would pull me from the bar because I was sticking up for myself. And also why she said the reasoning is the same as having females behind the bar. They need to be able to put up with a little bit of sexual harassment from guests, because guests will likely say something to them. Why should ANY female put up with ANY form of sexual harassment? Why should I have to put up with any kind of derogatory remarks based on sexuality, even if they are not aimed directly at me.

In the last few months my Brothers and Sisters have been fighting a civil rights movement for marriage equality. We have made huge strides here in California on that issue, but we must also remember that in California, a 15 year old boy was killed at school for asking his classmate to be his Valentine. We are far away from true equality. After the incident Ellen had a small segment of her popular television show where she addressed the news story. Since she said it best, I will let her say it again.

Later in the evening I asked another manager if he would have told me the same thing. He said he would have and that I did the right thing asking a manager before making a remark. I then placed him in a hypothetical situation asking,

"What if someone would have said in front of her so, but talking about someone else 'typical Asian C*NT don't serve her cause she has to make it back to the rice patties?' Would she have to do the same thing, or would she kick him out?"

He said she would also have to not say anything as well. I found it hard to believe that this female manager actually would proceed working and not say anything to this guest. I then decided to ask this male manage what he would do as an African American if we changed the word "Gay" to the N-Word? He surprised me by saying he would ignore it, he would give the person a one-time pass.

I for one am disgusted. I am done giving people one-time passes. Who keeps track of these one-time passes, because I am sure someone else who is LGBT has heard the same men make a similar comment and they also gave them a one-time pass. How many one-time passes does each person get? If we are constantly giving people one-time passes it's no wonder people think that it is still OK to use hurtful words, that do not only bring down the person they are talking about, but that persons entire social identity as well.

Please leave me your thoughts and comments on this situation. Have I over-reacted?

A little preview

2008-06-28T15:08:00.000-07:00

For those of you that might be new to "Hollywood Nobody" I decided to post the last installment of the blog for your enjoyment...Think of it as a little preview of whats to come!
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"Chronicles Behind the Scenes Interviews - Hollywood Nobody"
- Originally posted Monday June 16, 2008

Last week my friend Chris picked me up and we drove up to Calabasas to do behind the scenes interviews for his film, Chronicles of a Lonely Mind. I of course was quite nervous because I have seen these interviews before and all the actors seemed so articulate and insightful; I was unsure if I would be able to do the same. Luckily for me I had an idea of what they would ask before my interview started.

We arrived in Calabasas around 4:00; the traffic was pretty normal for Southern California at that time in the afternoon/evening. Unfortunately the other people who needed to be there in order to start shooting were a little late, so we went scouting for a location. We decided on a small park with an awesome jungle gym. While we waited for the other's we played a little and had some lunch.

Since this was a small park, one can imagine the bathrooms were not as elegant as the four seasons. I couldn't believe it; even though we were in hoidy-toidy Calabasas, there were no bidets or marble counter tops in this park bathroom. I was sorely disappointed. The bathroom was so bad, the toilets were not flushing properly...No need to go into detail for you to imagine what was lurking beneath island of toilet paper floating within it's faux stainless steel confines.

Later I started my interview and thought that I did a pretty good job of sounding like I knew what I was talking about. "Wow," I thought, "Not bad for a 'Hollywood Nobody'; perhaps things are looking up."

At one point we found a beach ball and began playing with that throughout the interview process. Everyone making sure that they stayed out of the muddy area near the table we were using. At the end of the night, I noticed the ball was laying right in front of me, so I sped up in order to get one good kick in.

I approached the ball, quickly picking up speed. I then pulled my leg back, winding it up, in order to really give the ball the kicking of its life. My right foot had just begun to make contact with the ball when I felt my left foot suddenly drop down and become stuck. Since I had picked up so much speed trying to kick the ball with my right foot, my left had no problem dislodging itself from it's earthly confines with a loud fwap.

By the time it was all over I was very disappointed that the earth had swallowed up my left foot slowing me down. I certainly was not able to give the beach ball the kicking I though it rightfully deserved. It was as though I could hear the ball mocking me.

I looked down at my shoe and noticed it was still covered in mud, so I entered the bathroom, which truly was decorated as though it belonged in a prison cell (been there done that). I looked around for paper towels; finding none I decided to use the toilet seat covers to wipe the mud off my shoes.

As I continued whipping away at the mud, I looked down and noticed that this mud was unlike any I have ever seen before. It looked more like a tarish substance. Suddenly it hit me like a bag of bricks, not that I would know what it feels like to be hit by a bag of bricks; this was no ordinary mud...It was as though I was finishing one of those connect the dots games as the big picture suddenly became clearer to me.

The area behind the bathroom with the grate filled with water; about to over flow...The mud in the lawn near the doors to the bathroom that extended towards our table...The fact that the area where my foot had sunk had previously been a mud safe zone...The toilets backed up with various fluids from the parks guest....That is when I realized

OH MY GOD....THAT GRATE WAS AN OVERFLOWING SEPTIC SYSTEM!!!

Here I thought I did such as good job sounding like a real professional actor during my interview for Chronicles and at the end of the day I find myself ankle deep in the aged and decaying fecal matter of complete strangers!!

Welcome

2008-06-28T13:57:00.000-07:00

Hello,

My name is Daniel Frank. Welcome to my blog; Hollywood Nobody. Follow along with me as I chronicle the various experiences I have while pursuing a career as an OUT actor in this crazy city known as Hollywood.

Previously this blog was posted through my myspace site, www.myspace.com/DannyHoney, but after a lot of thought I decided to publish through a different outlet. Many of my friends were using blogspot, so that is why I have decided to make my new home here.

Your comments and feedback are welcome and appreciated.

Much Love,
Hollywood Nobody