I got the call to come in for an audition on a Wednesday which would take place that same Friday. My initial response, as always, is excitement, my second response is, "HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA GET IN SHAPE IN TIME?!?!?!" Clearly an impossible task, even with thousands of dollars in plastics.
The day of the audition I was feeling a little sluggish so I stopped at Starbucks to get a Venti Carmel Machiato extra shot upside down. Let's just say by the time I was in front of the casting group, I was flying around the room.
When I arrived at the casting location, I was about an hour early so I sat in my car and called Michael to have him listen to me run lines. After about a half an hour we both decided that I was as ready as I was ever going to be and that I should just go into the audition. Well that and Michael had to finish a re-write on his play, "About Eve." apparently he was working on a suicide scene that is so good it caused him to cry...he's soooo gay!!
When I entered the building there were two other people waiting to audition. One was another guy who was auditioning for the same part. He was cute, but his audition seemed a little shorter than it should have been. I assume that he probably read only one of the sides. After the second person was finished with her audition it was time for me.
Casting Assistant: Have you seen any of these two films?
Me: Yes actually, I own the second one. I believe I got it in a raffle at the Shelter event at The Standard Hotel...No wait, actually I stole it from that event.
Casting Assistant: Oh really? You know there are quite a few people in this room that are missing out on those royalties now.
Me: Hehe (Nervous laugh) Well I didn't really steal it, it was part of a gift basket at the event and I made sure that my basket had the second film in it. So since it was in a gift basket, I assume that SOMEONE paid for it...right??
The other people in the room laugh, and the audition begins. After reading the first side, I wasn't really expecting to read the second, and I certainly didn't expect to read the third set. When the reading was threw it was not time to take off my shirt and do a spin on the stage. I took a deep breath and did my best to suck in my little belly and did my spin as a small room of Gay men sat and judge my "pudgy" little body.
After the audition was over I made my way over to the writer of the project to finally officially introduce myself.
Me: Hey you're _________(Writer) right?
Writer: Yes.
Me: Oh Hi. I think I've seen you out a bunch of West Hollywood events, but never got the chance to officially meet or introduce myself to you.
Writer: Oh well it's nice to meet you
Me: Yeah, normally those parties are so crowded. I mean I make my way up to say hi to you, but by the time I get close enough the crowd is so massive I have to snake my way through and before I get a chance to say hey, my hand has accidentally grabbed your crotch or ass. I've actually called myself your accidental celebrity molester in the blog that I write. (More)
Everyone laughs.
Totally on accident...not that I wouldn't do it on purpose as well...
Laughing continues.
Reading Partner: You know Freud says there is no such thing as an accident. Maybe it was a bit of a Freudian slip.
Me: Maybe....
Director: (Laughing) You know you could use THAT as your comedic monologue.
END SCENE
After I left the audition I felt pretty good about my chances, so I did what any Gay in Hollywood would do. I took out my phone to update Facebook and Twitter! Before I got a chance to update I noticed that while in my audition, the writer of the project updated his status saying something about all of Facebook auditioning on the same day and wishing us all luck.
I wasn't sure whether this was a good sign or a bad sign. One on hand he may have recognized me from Facebook. On the other he may have been bored enough with my audition to go online. hmmm...
I immediately called Michael after the audition and had to apologize for interrupting his girly moment as I could hear him frantically blowing his nose into a tissue while weeping uncontrollably.
I later found out that Michael was being contacted to work on the same project, and had a meeting set up for the following week. At this meeting Michael mentioned that I had auditioned for the project and thought that it was going to be a great movie. The Director mentioned to Michael that he remembered who I was, but never mentioned whether that was good thing or a bad thing...oh well. Michael was offered a crew position on the film, but he ultimately had to turn it over to a co-worker of his as he had a previous obligation.
Unfortunately, as confident as I was in my audition, I did not get the part. I blame the moment when I had to take off my shirt and everyone cast their eyes upon my nipples, which are roughly the size of mini quiches, but I prefer to think I just didn't fit the description of the character as well as the others who audition.
Principle photography has begun on this project and I have seen pictures of the people who were cast in lead roles. After seeing these pictures, I feel that the casting directors did a great job; they have a hot cast and I cannot wait to see the film and write a review on my blog.
