Monday, October 20, 2008

Alien Cockblockin'

While I am not currently on it, I just wanted to let everyone know I FINALLY GOT MY COMPUTER BACK FROM THE DAMNED GEEK SQUAD!!

Boy I tell you, those guys kept the computer for nearly three weeks and didn't seem to do a lot...I guess this could just be another reason why I should really upgrade to a Mac. If I only had the dough!! I am also waiting for them to finish shipping my digital camera back to me...Come on guys!!

On Wednesday I went to the Smoking Cocktail LGBT Media Mixer. This specific mixer happens every third Wednesday of the month and it really is great way to meet new people. The mixer used to be held at the Standard off Sunset, but has since moved to OBAR off Santa Monica Blvd.

When I approached JD, our host for the evening, she immediately introduced me to Jason Stuart (Who seriously has been in everything...check out his IMDB page.) Chad Darnell and some other guy whose name I cannot remember at the moment. We will just call him "Cute almost 30 guy."

JD told them about our experience in Fresno, and how she was impressed with the fact I didn't immediately jump Simon's bones hoping that we would make a love connection based on the fact that we had sex one time and then spend the rest of the weekend wondering why he wouldn't call back. This is something that occurs somewhat frequently with a few gay guys I have known through the years. If you find yourself in a similar situation, you immediately slept with someone and are now wondering why he wont return your calls, let me make life easier for you...HE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU OR YOUR LOOSE MANHOLE!!

So JD basically tells these boys that one night stands are just not my thing and that my legs are so tightly bound together that I could replace the concrete at the Hoover Damn and not spill a drop.

"Great," I thought, "Now they all think I am a prude and suddenly people will be calling me Puritan, Cobwebs, or Mary. Hey, I'm no prude, but let's just say that somewhere down the line I must have been abducted by alien beings who had my knees surgically altered. The best I can tell they "enhanced" them by installing super strong magnets...Many have tried to disrupt the strong electromagnetic force causing me to spread em, but it just ain't happening...It's a serious condition, one for which I think I deserve a handicapped placard so I can get all the best parking places in town...preferably the ones in the rear???

1 comment:

Michael Coulombe said...

Well I do think you did the right thing by not sleeping with Simon. I mean, he still texts you, right? So apparently, he DOES respect you. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. You go boy.

I actually interview Jason Stuart for my blog as my next writer...since he writes his own comedy material. What a small world!