"Elena (Necar Zadegan, 24) is married to a pastor at a conservative church, and when they find out they can't have more children, she goes to an adoption center where she meets Peyton (Traci Dinwiddie, Supernatural) - an out lesbian. An unlikely friendship develops which leads to more...."
Last night I made the long, long trek to La Crescenta with my buddy Lisa to be a background actor on a film that a bunch of my friends are working on, called Elena Undone. Written and Directed by Nicole Conn; produced by Marina Bader, Jane Clark, and JD Disalvatore.
The concept of the film is great and from the dialogue I heard, it is beautifully written. The leads are gorgeous and very friendly. This is definitely going to be a MUST SEE FILM, and not just because you may catch a glimpse of me.
The film shoot was a lot of fun, and I loved having Lisa with me as this was her first experience on a film set, and my first experience working in a Lesbian Film...I hope I was butch enough. Michael Coulombe, script supervisor on the film, was also happy to have Lisa there as it made him seem more important than he actually is while he gave her a backstage tour of what was going on in a scene. I bet you thought I was finally going to have an entry that didn't include that silly "mo", Michael, no such luck. I swear that bitch is stalking me!!
upon arriving on set I naturally had to make sure that the execs and leads noticed me by wearing a white shirt under my navy blue v-neck sweater, sending me straight to wardrobe for a new shirt. Honestly though, I thought the white shirt might have been OK since it was partly covered... Live and learn I guess.
After I got back from wardrobe, I was able to say hello to my friends working on the film. That is when the drama started. JD and Michael were about three seconds away from mud wrestling each other in speedos to determine whose friend I actually was. Thankfully when it got to the arm wrestling match JD won as Michael submitted by sticking his gay little ass in the air. I'm not sure he fully understood the concept of arm wrestling...
As is normally the case on film sets, we were requested to show up at a certain time (Call time); however, that does not mean you will be needed or working immediately at that time. Luckily for me and the rest of the background actors they set us up in a VIP cabana next to the Craft services table so that we could snack on animal crackers and red vines while we waited. The only thing our VIP cabana was missing was a bottle of MOET and nearly naked sexy cabana boys and girls. It did include a lovely Verizon Wireless dead zone, so I was unable to keep my tens of readers/followers fully update on the tweet box. Stupid Verizon and their stupid maps! What's a gay to do??? Jeesh!
Finally it was time for a few of the background peeps to go to set and do their thing. The set was absolutely beautiful, with a nicely decorated hors d'oeuvre table, Christmas lights, and fabric hanging from various locations. The draped fabric kind of reminded me of a scene in the "Total Eclipse" music video.
When the background actors were set into place for the first shot, I was excited as Lisa and I were placed in some prime locations; right behind the lead actors. My excitement; however, was shortly lived as after the first take, Lisa and I were moved; not once, but twice. I didn't think it was really a big deal at the moment; however, later Michael told me that I was moved because, "The only part of you we could see in the shot was your massive buldge right over the leads sholder. It was really distracting." I guess we now know why he keeps following me around! We later referred to my crotch bulge as another extra.
Speaking of the extras/background actors, we had a really good group on the film. Everyone seemed to be getting along well and having great conversations in our down time or our pantomime during scenes; the latter being more difficult as it involved reading lips. At one point I could have sworn that Lisa told me she tasted like Halibut after I asked if she liked pineapple juice... That was something I really didn't need to know.
The last shot that the background actors were needed for was basically for background party noise so we were able to actually speak during this time. The main conversation I seemed to have at this time was about my new invention, the SNOOGIE. You see the snoogie is similar to a snuggie, but for two people at the same time. You can basically think of it as a sex poncho. Unfortunately, I doubt that conversation will be used in the film, but you never know.
After that our night came to an end and Lisa and I began the long drive back to Anaheim, which brings up a very good question. When the fuck am I moving to LA???? Hopefully soon, my darlings.
This morning I woke up to hundreds of emails that I should check out Perez's website. Normally I try to stay clear of it, because I don't think his "doodle drawings" are all that funny, but, "What the heck," I thought.
DAMN YOU PEREZ!!!!!!